When a friend complains about their weight or appearance, it can be tricky to know what to say. Telling them they are beautiful may feel shallow, while pointing out they are supporting the beauty industry seems preachy. Experts suggest listening without judgment and avoiding overcompensation with compliments.
Beauty reporter Zeynab Mohamed advises against using these moments to challenge beauty standards. Instead, she recommends making general conversations about beauty industry pressures more frequent, so they do not feel like personal attacks. Suggest watching a film like The Substance or sharing a critical podcast episode in a group chat.
Journalist Val Monroe says she does not try to dissuade friends from their perspective, but shares her own strategies for dealing with dissatisfaction. For example, disabling the mirror function on Zoom calls helped her stop fixating on crow's feet.
Writer Virginia Sole-Smith suggests responses like: 'Wouldn't it be cool if we didn't have to devote so much time and money to all of this?' She also advises setting boundaries if the topic is triggering, saying: 'Sorry, I love you but I'm just not the friend for Botox talk.'
Author Moshtari Hilal recommends moving the conversation towards politics: 'Instead of reassuring friends that they're beautiful, I ask why it matters so much to them.' She suggests questions like: 'Would you love or respect me less if my appearance changed?'
