A woman in her 20s has confessed to developing romantic feelings for her male best friend after a recent kiss felt different, leaving her unsure how to proceed without risking their long-standing friendship.
The pair have been friends since secondary school, having first met at age eight when they disliked each other. He would hide her belongings and tease her, while she regularly got him into trouble with teachers. As teenagers, however, they connected deeply and have remained close ever since.
He supported her through a difficult breakup and was present when her father died. She admits to having always harboured a slight crush on him, describing him as cool, popular, and good-looking during their school years. Over the years, they have kissed a few times after drinking, but have never had sex, and neither has made a move to take things further.
A Kiss That Changed Everything
Recently, while out together, they kissed again, but this time it felt different – hot and sexy. He showered her with compliments, leaving her confused about the nature of their relationship.
Despite this, she lacks the confidence to act on her feelings, feeling like the nerdy schoolgirl while he remains the popular kid. She also worries that if a romantic relationship failed, their friendship would be over.
Advice From Coleen
Coleen advises that she may be holding on to childhood roles and that the friendship needs to reflect where they are now in life. If another kiss occurs, she suggests stopping and asking, “What’s going on here? We’re not kids any more”.
She warns against drifting into a “friends with benefits” situation, which might suit him but may not be what the reader wants. Coleen recommends having a straightforward conversation about their feelings and the friendship’s direction, questioning whether the last kiss was just a continuation of past behaviour or something more.
If a romantic relationship failed, it could indeed affect the friendship, so this needs discussion and consideration. Coleen also suggests reflecting on whether the crush is keeping her stuck in the past instead of moving on and dating others.
In her words of wisdom, Coleen advises that instead of reacting to criticism with defensiveness and blame, one should ask questions to understand concerns, acknowledge feelings, take responsibility, and focus on moving forward.
