Jane O'Gorman, the Daily Star's agony aunt, offers advice on two pressing issues: a man fearful of revealing his sexual history to his new girlfriend and a woman struggling with her older sister's sarcastic comments about her children.
Man Fears Telling Girlfriend About Past Lovers
A man who has slept with hundreds of women is terrified to tell his new girlfriend the truth, worried she will think he is a slut. He explains that he worked as a holiday rep, DJ, and chalet host in his twenties, meeting many women during summer and winter seasons. His girlfriend, who is in her late twenties, recently confronted him about rumors she heard. She revealed that he is only the second person she has had regular sex with, as she had held back to find the right person. She considers him her perfect man, but he feels he is not good enough for her and fears his past will be exposed.
Jane's Advice on Honesty and Moving Forward
Jane advises that while his sexual history may not be ideal, he cannot change it. She emphasizes that his girlfriend's choice to save herself does not make her superior; they are different people with different urges. He should not lie or make excuses but also not overly defend himself. What matters is the life he plans to live now, including being faithful. She suggests he get a full sexual health check-up and vow to have safe, loving sex. If his girlfriend cannot accept his past, she may not be the right partner for his future.
Woman Deals with Critical Sister
Another reader writes about her older sister's sarcastic comments about her children, causing tension. The sister criticizes the children's laziness, and the reader tries to keep the peace, but the children now hate her. The other sister has banned her from her home for the same reason.
Jane's Advice on Setting Boundaries
Jane advises telling the sister firmly that her comments are unhelpful and that the reader has things under control. She should remind the sister that she risks isolating herself and ask if she is unhappy or needs mental health support. The reader should set clear boundaries in her own home.
