A reader has written to Coleen Nolan for advice after a visit to her parents left her in tears, worried that time with them is running out. The woman, whose father is 83 and mother is 85, said her mum was forgetful and her dad was unsteady because of a stiff, painful hip.
She explained that her parents have always been fit, active and welcoming, organising holidays and supporting their children generously over the years. The realisation of their age hit her suddenly, and she went home and cried all night, feeling that the family has taken them for granted.
Wanting to show love without causing worry
The reader said her family is close but not the type to say "I love you" often, and she now wants her parents to know how much they mean to her. However, she does not want them to know she is worried or upset about their age, as they have a lot of pride.
Coleen replied that it is a horrible realisation when parents reach a certain age and their health starts to deteriorate, and that many readers will relate. She suggested it is never too late to start saying "I love you", but also offered other thoughtful ways to show care, such as sending a card for no reason with nice words, letting them know what amazing parents they have been.
Making time a priority
Coleen added that writing these things can sometimes be easier, and suggested sending a gift out of the blue or inviting them out more. She reassured the reader that her parents almost certainly know how much they mean to her, pointing out that they still welcome her home, which speaks for itself.
She advised treating the moment as a wake-up call, making time for phone calls and visits even on busy days, and making parents more of a priority. Having lost many family members herself, Coleen said she is very aware that time with loved ones is precious and should be made the most of.
Giving back and making memories
Coleen concluded that it is a nice feeling to give back to parents for all the love and care they have given, and encouraged the reader to enjoy it and make some great memories.
