A woman who had a brief affair with a married man years ago is now grappling with guilt as she faces attending a friend's 40th birthday party where the man and his wife will also be present. She seeks advice on how to handle the situation without causing a scene or upsetting her friend.
The Dilemma
The woman, who is now in a good relationship, explains that the affair happened when she was recently single and hurting. She regrets it and worries about the potential awkwardness at the party, especially since the man's wife may not know about the affair.
She has considered not attending but fears her friend would be upset. Her boyfriend will accompany her, which provides some comfort, but she remains anxious about the encounter.
Coleen's Advice
In response, advice columnist Coleen suggests avoiding the situation altogether, even if it means feigning illness. She warns that alcohol at parties can lead to unpredictable comments that might expose the affair, causing unnecessary drama.
Coleen advises that if the host knows about the affair, the woman should politely decline, citing discomfort and fairness to the wife. If the host is unaware, she suggests using a sickness bug as an excuse and offering to celebrate separately.
Coleen emphasizes considering the wife's feelings, noting that even if she doesn't know now, the truth might surface later, making the memory of them together at the party humiliating. She urges the woman to remove herself from the equation, as her friend will have other guests to celebrate with.
