Actors Sarah Parish and James Murray have spoken about the trauma of losing their first child, Ella-Jayne, who died at eight months old from a congenital heart defect in 2009. The couple, who met on the set of BBC drama Cutting It, said the loss was 'incredibly distressing' and initially put strain on their relationship.
Parish, 56, known for roles in W1A and Industry, and Murray, 50, said they struggled to support each other through grief. 'It wasn't easy on our relationship; Jim and I found it difficult to look after each other. Grief is all-consuming,' Parish told the Guardian. The couple found solace through volunteering in orphanages in Vietnam and Cambodia, which gave them strength.
In memory of Ella-Jayne, they founded the Murray Parish Trust in 2014, later relaunched as Imagine This, the only UK charity dedicated to supporting the mental wellbeing of ill children and their families. Earlier this year, the pair received MBEs for their work. Parish said: 'The death of a child is difficult to get through as a couple, and maybe without setting up our charity we wouldn't have made it.'
Reflecting on their early relationship, Parish recalled meeting Murray at a party and initially disliking him. 'I thought he was a very attractive man, but once we spoke... Jim said something inappropriate about the breakup and I remember thinking, what a shame he's so rude,' she said. However, they became friends during Cutting It, and Parish realised her feelings while watching him play pool: 'I guess it was love at first back.'
The couple, who married in 2007 and have a teenage daughter Nell, now describe their relationship as 'much more peaceful'. Murray said they have 'watched each other grow up', and Parish added: 'What I find most attractive about him now isn't nearly as superficial as the view of his back – it's the way he throws himself into his passions.'
