New research suggests that the compulsion to please others, a behaviour often reinforced in women through social conditioning and sexism, is taking a significant toll on their physical and mental health. Studies have found that women who engage in 'self-silencing'—suppressing their own emotional needs to avoid upsetting others—are more likely to experience chronic conditions such as fibromyalgia and lower mental wellbeing.
A study by the University of Plymouth revealed that women with fibromyalgia reported lifelong patterns of self-silencing. Meanwhile, a 2025 study of Chinese university students, published in PsyCh Journal, found a strong association between people-pleasing tendencies and reduced mental health. Experts explain that people-pleasing is a learned behaviour rooted in the brain's threat detection system, where the 'fawn' response—being agreeable to avoid conflict—releases dopamine and reinforces the behaviour.
Women are often rewarded for this behaviour with appreciation and approval, which can link self-worth to being needed. Over time, this can become a survival mechanism, particularly for those with a history of trauma. Psychologists warn that the long-term consequences can be severe, especially during high-pressure social events like Easter, when women may feel obligated to host and care for others at the expense of their own needs.
To break the cycle, experts recommend understanding the origins of people-pleasing and consciously prioritising self-care. Recognising that saying 'no' is acceptable and setting boundaries can help protect both mental and physical health.
