A father has described the stillbirth of his son as a 'horrifying experience' and highlighted the lack of support available for men who lose a child. His son, Rayan, was stillborn at 38 weeks gestation last September due to a placental abruption.
Speaking about the traumatic day, he recalled contraction-like pain, waters breaking, blood, and a dash to the hospital where they found no heartbeat. The abruption, where the placenta separates from the uterus wall, was severe and caused his wife to lose four and a half litres of blood, requiring intensive care.
He noted that stillbirth affects about one in 250 pregnancies in the UK, with higher rates for minority backgrounds. While there are online support groups and resources for women, he said there is 'next to nothing' for men, partly because medical attention focuses on the mother and men are often not good at talking about feelings.
The father also spoke of the difficulty of facing friends and family, and the silence that replaces conversations about names and night feeds. He had planned extensively for the baby, moving to the suburbs and painting the nursery, but all that changed.
He criticised the requirement for women to deliver stillborn babies vaginally to protect future fertility, calling it 'unfathomably cruel'. His wife eventually needed an emergency caesarean to deliver the baby and stop the bleeding.
