Loose Women panellist Jane Moore has said she has no regrets about moving her mother, who has Alzheimer's, into a care home, telling her co-stars: "I never felt bad. I don't do guilt." The ITV star explained that her mother needs specialist nursing care that she cannot provide herself.
Before finding a home where her mum could settle, Jane had spent years trying to manage her care while also juggling work and a divorce. At one stage, her mother moved in with her, but with no downstairs toilet and her mother unable to get upstairs, Jane said the arrangement became "untenable".
Years of Struggle Before Finding a Home
Jane shared her experience during a discussion about whether elderly relatives should move in with family, alongside panellists Christine Lampard, Sue Cleaver, and Janet Street-Porter. Recalling the period after she was advised her mother could no longer live independently, Jane said: "We entered, I would say a two or three-year period where she fought me at every turn, and there was a period of time when she came to live with me, but I didn't even have a downstairs loo, and she couldn't go upstairs."
According to the Mirror, she said the whole thing became "untenable", adding: "In the end I remember I just got so desperate I found this local care home and I rang them and said 'look, can you take her for just like three or four weeks, I just need a break'." Jane said everything was "all caving in on me" as she dealt with her divorce and work commitments.
Finding the Right Care
Her mother initially moved into an "eye-wateringly expensive" care facility but struggled to adapt. Jane explained: "I moved her into a more middling care home, which is lovely, and she's now very settled, but it took years. But she can't be left, she needs nursing care, she wanders, she gets up in the middle of the night."
She added, "I unapologetically did what I think was not only right for my mother but right for me as well, my kids, her grandkids, they can now go and see her." Jane, who visits her mum every other day, said she did not feel guilty about the decision because her mother needs specialist support.
Panellists Share Their Concerns
Jane explained: "I know people have put people into care homes and felt terrible guilt about it, but I'm not a nurse. I don't have the skills to be a dementia carer. It takes real specialist knowledge and care and systems and safeguarding, etc., so for me, it's the best place for my mother to be."
Sue Cleaver also spoke about her concerns over care homes while discussing her own mum, who lives independently, and shared one of her biggest worries. She said: "My biggest fear is, I'm so worried about somebody being unkind to her in a home, and yet I know I'm not a nurse, I wouldn't be equipped to deal with those things should they arise. It just scares me so much."
Janet Street-Porter urged viewers to think about their future care needs, saying: "Please plan ahead. If you think you're mentally sound start thinking about if you want someone to come and support you in later life, is there anywhere in your home that they can live? You must plan ahead."
Loose Women airs weekdays at 12.30pm on ITV.
