Professor Peter Fonagy, the head of an inquiry into Britain's mental health, has told parents to be “less critical” of their children. Giving evidence to a joint sitting of the Education and Health committees, he also described calling young people a “snowflake generation” as an “insult”.
Advice to parents
Prof Fonagy said: “I do a lot of advising parents about how they should bring up their children and there's one advice that I give above all else.”
He continued: “Stop criticising your child. Notice when they do something that you want them to do and reinforce that. Encourage that.”
“I think we need to be less spiteful and less depriving in our approach to young people and far more encouraging,” he added.
Review findings
Prof Fonagy was giving evidence after chairing a review of mental health in Britain, contributed to by 120 top experts. The 607-page document described how it is harder to be young now due to smartphones and relentless comparisons on social media and in schools, as well as a lack of belonging and fewer job opportunities. Its findings will feed into government policies on everything from education to the NHS and the welfare state.
The review, published last week, concluded that the rise in mental illness in the UK was real and linked to life becoming harder for children and young people.
'Snowflake generation' insult
Prof Fonagy told MPs: “The snowflake generation is an insult to young people. I challenge all of you here to cope with the pressures that young people are under and sustain the quality of childhood and young adulthood that you all were privileged to experience.”
He added: “Most of you are of a generation that was brought up believing that you will have a future that's better than your parents. We are currently with a generation who are convinced, and rightly so, that they will not have the opportunities that their parents had.”
“That sense of hopelessness… that's part of their beliefs but also part of our beliefs. It also makes us feel somewhat guilty in relation to them,” he said.
“Therefore it's much easier for us to say they are a snowflake generation than for us to say: ‘actually, we really messed it up for them and it's our fault’.”
Pandemic impact and recommendations
Prof Fonagy also reflected on the Covid-19 pandemic, saying: “I mean if you think back, [the Covid-19 pandemic] was the first time that I can remember that the adult generation brought in a way of adjusting to a major health crisis that advantaged adults and disadvantaged children and young people.”
“Mostly the priority is given to the new generation but for whatever reason… we decided that our health was more important than theirs,” he added.
The review also found that ADHD and autism are now at risk of overdiagnosis and warned that wrongly labelling children with the conditions can cause it to become their identity and hold them back.
The psychoanalyst from University College London told the committee there has been a 73% support for youth services since 2011 which funded places such as youth clubs.
Prof Fonagy said the “three simple things” that ensure good mental health are “people, place and purpose”. He explained: “People, meaning relationships… and places where you can benefit from that social support, and purpose in your life. Education [can be] a major purpose.”
He concluded: “Let's hope that we can do better for our children, young people than we’ve been able to do over the past 20 years.”
