Stephen Fry Reveals He Was 'In Agony' and Didn't Want to Live
Renowned actor and comedian Sir Stephen Fry has bravely opened up about his profound mental health struggles, confessing that at one point in his life, he "didn't want to live." The celebrated star, known for roles in Blackadder and as a host on Celebrity Traitors, made these candid revelations during an appearance on ITV's innovative interview series, The Assembly.
A Unique Interview Setting
The Assembly is a distinctive programme where a panel of autistic, neurodivergent, and/or learning disabled interviewers pose questions to celebrities, with no topic considered off-limits. Sir Stephen leads the lineup for the second season, following a critically acclaimed first series featuring guests like Danny Dyer, David Tennant, Jade Thirlwall, and Gary Lineker. In his episode, which airs on Wednesday, Fry delves into deeply personal subjects, including his marriage, career, past drug use, and mental health journey.
Confronting Past Trauma
Early in the interview, Sir Stephen was asked about his suicide attempt in 2012, an event he has discussed publicly in subsequent years. When questioned, "Are you happy to be alive now?" Fry responded with raw honesty. "I am happy to be alive, but it was a pretty terrible experience," he said. "I was in agony in my mind and didn't want to live, but I can't bring back that feeling, so it's kind of alien, like looking at myself as another person."
He elaborated by drawing a poignant analogy: "I compare it to, have you ever broken a leg or had a really painful injury? You know that you screamed in agony, but you can't make that pain come back to you now. You can't make your leg hurt again, and it's a bit the same with the mind."
Reflections on Happiness and Bipolar Disorder
When probed further about his current state of mind, Sir Stephen shared a nuanced perspective on happiness. "I think so," he replied. "Like a lot of people, I almost don't dare say that I'm happy, but that's stupid, because if you are happy, you should enjoy it."
The interview also touched on Fry's experience living with bipolar disorder. Asked how he could support a family member with the same diagnosis, he offered insightful advice. "The first thing to realise is that it's an illness, not something that can be wished away, it is a real thing," he explained.
Sir Stephen used a powerful metaphor to describe the condition: "It's worth thinking of it as being like the weather. The weather is real, you can't pretend it's not raining when it's raining. You can't say, no it's not raining, it's ridiculous, you're getting wet, it's really raining. But on the other hand it's also true that you didn't make it rain. The rain happens, it's not your fault it's raining, you shouldn't beat yourself up and say, 'Why am I like this, I shouldn't be,' that's like saying 'it shouldn't be raining'. It's not something in your control. It will eventually stop, it always has and it always will stop and the sun will come out at some point. That's what it's like with a mood disorder like bipolar, and it's difficult but it's worth remembering that it's not their personality, it's the weather inside them, and it will change."
Broadcast Details and Support Resources
The Assembly airs at 10:05 PM on Wednesday, 8th April, on ITV1, ITVX, STV, and STV Player. For those struggling with similar issues, support is available through Samaritans, who can be contacted free at 116 123, any time, 365 days a year. Their website provides additional resources for help and guidance.
