Six Subtle Eating Disorder Signs Parents Often Overlook
While some indicators of eating disorders may immediately alert parents, many signs are subtle and easily missed due to the secretive nature of these complex mental health conditions. Distinguishing between typical teenage behaviour and serious issues often hinges on observing behavioural shifts.
"The first signs of an eating disorder are often behavioural or psychological rather than physical," explains Tom Quinn, director of external affairs at Beat, the UK's leading charity for eating disorders. "Whilst people often think of weight loss as the main symptom, there are many different types of eating disorders where someone's weight is likely to stay the same, such as bulimia."
With Eating Disorders Awareness Week approaching from February 23 to March 1, it's crucial to recognise that these illnesses affect everyone differently. Here are six common behavioural changes to watch for, along with expert-backed guidance on what to do if you're concerned about your child.
1. Avoids Eating with the Family
Individuals with eating disorders frequently attempt to conceal their condition, leading to lies about when, where, or how much they've eaten. "It's important to remember that eating disorders are never a choice and that behaviours around food are never intended maliciously," says Quinn.
Dr Caroline Fleming, head of psychology at Cygnet Hospital Ealing, notes that this behaviour is common. "Instead of having a meal at the table with the family, they might say 'I want to do my work, so I'm going eat in my room', and then get rid of that food," she explains. "They might also leave the house more often and claim they've eaten elsewhere or aren't hungry."
2. Disappears to the Toilet During or After Meals
Someone may appear to eat normally in front of others but rush to the bathroom shortly after. "This could mean they are purging by vomiting, which is more common in bulimia," Quinn adds, highlighting a potential red flag for disordered eating behaviours.
3. Tiredness and Difficulties Concentrating
Inadequate nutrition can severely impact physical health and cognitive function. "The brain is a very hungry organ," Fleming points out. "It can also impact sleeping patterns, so they might feel really tired during the day." This fatigue and lack of focus may signal underlying issues.
4. Food Unexplainably Goes Missing
Missing food could indicate struggles with binge eating, the most common eating disorder, affecting 1 in 50 people in their lifetime. "People often describe binging as going into 'autopilot' or feeling out of control, which can be very distressing," Quinn notes. Binge eating can also occur alongside other disorders like anorexia or bulimia.
5. Mood Changes
Distinctive shifts in personality and behaviour, such as mood swings, emotional withdrawal, or irritability, may emerge. "For example, any concerns or mentions about their behaviours and food might be met with a really snappy response," Fleming says, emphasising the emotional toll of eating disorders.
6. Withdraw Socially
Social isolation often increases as individuals avoid activities centred around eating and drinking. "Someone struggling with an eating disorder might become increasingly socially isolated because they're not engaging in those things with their peers, family and friends," Fleming explains, noting the impact on social connections.
What Should Parents Do If They Are Concerned?
Approaching concerns requires sensitivity to avoid damaging relationships. "Concerns about eating behaviours can often be met with anger or rebuttal, so I would advise against a heavy-handed approach," Fleming cautions. "Because it's such a secretive illness, and can quickly become part of someone's identity, if you go in too hard and too quickly it might feel like an attack."
Choosing the right setting is a good starting point. "Choose a time and place where you both feel safe and won't be disturbed," recommends Quinn. "Avoid immediately before or after meals as this will be a stressful time."
Using open-ended questions can help. "Try not to back them into a corner," advises Quinn. "We'd recommend asking open-ended questions like 'I wondered if you'd like to talk about how you're feeling' as opposed to 'You need to get help'."
Seeking professional support is invaluable. "You could put information leaflets around their room, or gently express concern and suggest seeing a GP," Fleming suggests. "Getting support from outside the home is a really helpful start and the sooner you seek support, the better."
If worried about health, contact Beat on 0808 801 0677 or visit beateatingdisorders.org.uk for assistance and resources.
