A viral trend encouraging parents to shout 'Jessica' during toddler tantrums has been criticised by a child psychotherapist, who warns it could do more harm than good. The method, widely shared on social media, suggests distracting a distressed child by shouting a random name to halt the outburst.
Zara Kadir, known as the Therapy Shed on Instagram, outlined three problems with the approach. She explained that it fails to give children vocabulary for their emotional state, offers no co-regulation, and does not acknowledge that the child is struggling.
Instead, she advises parents to first validate the child's feelings before redirecting attention. For example, if a child asks for ice cream and is told no, parents should say: 'I'm sorry, you can have ice cream tomorrow but not today. I know that's hard to hear. If you want, we can look at those stickers over there.'
Kadir also cautioned against using screens as a distraction, saying it does not teach emotional regulation or respect for others' feelings. She concluded: 'What you do to them, they will do to others.' Many parents thanked her for the advice, with one noting that children raised with the 'Jessica' method versus a more empathetic approach will have 'dramatically different experiences' with adult emotional regulation.
