A child psychotherapist has warned parents that the viral trend of shouting 'Jessica' during toddler tantrums may be doing more harm than good. The method, which has gained popularity on social media, involves parents yelling a random name to distract a child having a meltdown. However, Zara Kadir, known online as the Therapy Shed, has outlined three major problems with this approach.
The Three Problems with the 'Jessica' Method
According to Kadir, who specializes in helping parents manage tantrums, shouting 'Jessica' fails to provide children with vocabulary for their emotional state, does not offer co-regulation, and ignores the child's struggle. She explained that while distraction can be useful, it should not be the first response.
A Better Approach
Kadir recommends acknowledging the child's feelings first before redirecting their attention. For example, if a toddler is upset about not getting ice cream, a parent should say, 'I'm really sorry you can't have ice cream today, I know that's difficult to hear. If you want, we can go and look at those stickers over there.' This approach validates the child's emotions and teaches them to respect feelings.
She also advises against using screens as a distraction, as it does not help children learn emotional regulation or empathy. 'What you do to them, they will do to others,' Kadir warned.
Parents reacted positively to her advice, with one commenting, 'Thank you for something that makes sense... we need to acknowledge feelings and name what we feel.' Another added, 'Children brought up with 'Jessica' vs this option are going to have dramatically different experiences with adult emotional regulation.'
