Strictly Come Dancing star Reverend Richard Coles has revealed that he attempted suicide as a teenager while struggling to come to terms with his sexuality. The 64-year-old BBC star said he realised he was gay in the 1970s, during a period he described as “very hostile” towards homosexuality.
Revelation on podcast
Speaking on the Crisis What Crisis podcast, Richard admitted: “The realisation I was gay when I was a teenager… I came to that realisation in a world that was very hostile, and I couldn’t have a liveable life. The thing about the overdose was it was genuine. It wasn’t a cry for help. I genuinely wanted to check out.”
He added: “I thought that life couldn’t be better and I couldn’t endure it.”
Hospital recovery
Richard’s life was saved and he was rushed to hospital. He said: “The minute I was in hospital, I realised I didn’t have to worry about it anymore. A weight came off my shoulders.”
He recalled: “I had a couple of wonderful doctors, one of whom is still a friend, and they put me together. I saw myself as an unlovable wretch whose life was not worth living and I realised that they didn't think that at all. They saw someone who was young and full of beans and full of promise. And the gap between those two perceptions was such an interesting one.”
“Gradually I kind of got better. I woke up one morning and thought, 'oh, I'm okay' and I moved on to the next thing. But I'm very keen for people who have mental illness to get appropriate care.”
Later life and marriage
Later in life, Richard settled down with his husband David. The pair were married for a decade until David died suddenly in 2019.
He told The Guardian in 2021: “It’s such a trope of sentimental films, isn’t it? That you sit by the lost one’s grave and talk to them. But actually one of the conversations I have with David in death is to take the p*** out of him. I tease him for lying in ignominy, now, in such an insalubrious corner of the churchyard. He would have hated it. He did like his luxuries.”
David had battled alcoholism and lost his vicar’s licence after an incident involving the police. He developed liver disease and struggled to sleep, leading them to settle down in separate rooms in the later years of their marriage. David was just 43 years old when he died.
Richard explained: “The cliché says, oh, they’re going to be icy cold. But they’re not, they’re room temperature actually; they’re just cooler than you would expect them to be. And I remember kissing David and thinking, ‘Ooh. He’s chambré.’ Which, um, is some sort of word from a sommelier’s lexicon. I mean! What a peculiar thing to say about your just-departed partner. But I think it was the fact of Dead David. I could only glance at that fact. It was too much.”
When life is difficult, Samaritans are available day or night, 365 days a year. You can call them for free on 116 123 or visit samaritans.org.
