Dean Cooper, a 46-year-old IT director from Lewannick, Cornwall, has revealed how years of stress and a 10-pint-a-day alcohol habit drove him to the brink of suicide. He described standing on a train platform in 2020 and almost stepping forward before phoning his wife and saying, “I get it now… why people jump.”
Collapse Under Pressure
Dean was juggling a demanding IT director role with a lengthy daily commute and family commitments. His two young children, one with autism and ADHD, added to the pressure. He often didn’t get home until 11pm. With no other family nearby, he turned to alcohol as an “off switch.”
After a 2019 accident at a gymnastics facility left him with a destroyed collarbone, a dislocated shoulder, and a metal plate, his casual drinking spiraled. He went from one drink a night to consuming up to 10 pints daily, spending around £20 a day on alcohol.
The Breaking Point
Dean said, “Alcohol became the way I silenced everything – the pressure, the noise, the pain, and the emptiness at the same time.” He added that culturally, as a man, “you don’t talk about it.”
In 2020, he experienced a moment of crisis on a train platform. He recalled, “I was standing on a train platform and for a split second, I almost stepped forward. It wasn’t planned, it wasn’t thought through, it was just there – an impulse.” He stepped back, phoned his wife, and said, “I get it now… why people jump.”
Family Impact
Dean’s drinking affected his family. He would play with his children or cook dinner with a drink in hand. He said, “They didn’t just have a dad who was present, they had a dad they watched coping. There are gaps… that I deeply regret now that I have clarity and happiness.”
Collapse and Recovery
The turning point came in 2021 when Dean collapsed by the seafront with heart attack symptoms. His wife rushed him to hospital with their children in the back seat. He recalled, “My children reached forward from the back, put their hands into mine and told me not to die.” He promised them he wouldn’t, and he has kept that promise ever since.
He was diagnosed with non-obstructive arterial heart disease and high blood pressure due to years of stress, alcohol, and lack of sleep. He stopped drinking, cut out caffeine and processed sugar, and started walking—initially just 200 steps a day, eventually building up to 17,000 steps.
Street Therapy
Dean tried group therapy and cognitive behavioral therapy but found they didn’t work for him. Instead, he created his own recovery method called “Street Therapy,” which combines movement, mindset, and self-awareness. He shares his journey on social media and has launched a podcast, “The After The Fall Show.”
Dean said, “I’m not an ex-alcoholic, I’m not a burnout story, I’m not a number of sober days – I’m a human being.” He added, “The one truth this journey has shown me is that we are all needed, and that no matter the label, no matter the journey to recover, it can be done.”
If you are struggling with suicidal thoughts, Samaritans (116 123) offers 24-hour support. You can also email jo@samaritans.org or visit www.samaritans.org.
