A Father's Path Through Unimaginable Loss
Stuart Green and his three young children faced a horrific tragedy in 2017 when Mia Mascarinas-Green, the children's mother, was shot and killed while driving them home from school in the Philippines. The human rights and environmental lawyer was struck in the head by nine bullets during the attack near their family home. In a terrifying turn, the gunmen then aimed their weapon at the children in the back seat, but the firearm reportedly jammed, sparing the lives of the 18-month-old twins and their nine-year-old sister.
Immediate Aftermath and Relocation
Although physically unharmed, the children were left with deep psychological scars from witnessing the violent attack. Within days of the murder, which remains part of an ongoing legal case in the Philippines, British-born marine biologist Stuart Green made the difficult decision to relocate his family back to the United Kingdom. "We had to leave the country because the kids are eyewitnesses to the murder," Green explains. "So we left everything in 10 days – we lost Mummy, and for security reasons we then lost our home, job, schools, everything. So we literally had three bags, but we were lucky because we were able to come back to the UK."
The Global Context of Environmental Activism
The tragedy occurred against a backdrop of increasing violence against environmental activists worldwide. A 2015 Global Witness report documented at least 116 murders of environmental defenders in 2014 alone, with the Philippines identified as one of the most dangerous countries alongside Brazil, Colombia, and Honduras for those working to protect natural resources and communities.
From Grief to Growth: The Regenerate Leap
Green emphasizes that his family has not simply "bounced back" from their trauma but has instead learned to "bounce forward." He has chronicled this journey in his book, The Regenerate Leap, drawing surprising parallels between ocean regeneration and the process of healing from personal devastation. "It's about not just surviving after tragedy, but thriving," Green insists.
"Everyone kept saying just be resilient," says Green, now 54. "But resilience is about going back to the past, and there was no past for us – Mia was gone. I had three little faces looking at me for answers I did not have, and I was supposed to be strong while my whole world was falling apart. So we started from scratch – they didn't need magic, they didn't need too many answers, they just needed me to be there."
The Healing Process for the Children
Green wrote over 500 journals in the years following the tragedy, describing them as "my only place to put my sanity." He waited approximately 18 months after sensing his children could "just be children again" before exploring what happened and the healing process his family had undergone.
The twins, a boy and girl now aged 10 (referred to as James and Grace Jr in the book), have limited memories of the attack, though Green's son experienced nightmares afterward. His elder daughter, named Grace Sr in the book, remembered the events clearly, received counselling, and is now 18 years old studying law at university. "She's decided to fully confront the devils in her mind, and she's flipped it so that she now wants to follow Mummy in her exact career path," says her proud father.
Framing the Narrative for Healing
Green initially "reframed" what happened as a car accident to his younger children until they were about eight years old, providing trauma counselling before revealing the truth about their mother's death. "They remembered," he says, "but it's really been hidden deep down, so we've had to pull it out and reframe it for them. I think it's very important that they understand what happened and not to be scared about it."
The family has developed a powerful narrative around Mia's legacy: "Mummy was very brave, and she stood for her principles on certain things, and these people didn't like that, but we will always stand for our principles. And you can't let people come in and kill you to silence you. For me, that's a very important narrative within our family, that we stand behind Mia and everything she did. We are very proud of her for standing up for her principles."
The Regenerate Framework: A Path Forward
In his book, Green outlines a Regenerate Framework designed to help families and leaders emerge stronger from crises. The framework consists of three distinct phases:
- Raze: Clearing away what no longer serves a purpose and recognizing your new reality.
- Enrich: Building capabilities for the future by gaining new skills and support systems.
- Grow: Emerging stronger than before the crisis by adapting approaches based on new realities.
"Basically, it's like a forest fire – everything burns down, you raze, you clear out, and if that leaves some lovely compost, you need to seed the compost and build that," Green explains. "And then you get to the grow phase. But you need to go through each of the three phases – you can't just jump to grow without going through enrich or raze."
Practical Advice for Parents in Crisis
Green offers specific guidance for parents facing family crises: "Just focus on what you have control over in the first few days, the sense-making will come over time. Then find your angels – who's really there for you, whether it's your family or your friends, and lean on them. Without some of the angels that I had in those first days, I wouldn't have got through it."
He recalls a pivotal moment months after Mia's death when he burned a pizza dinner: "It was like death by daddy pizza. I got really upset about it, and my eldest just started laughing, and then we all laughed. And it was the first time I realised you can still be happy. We call it happy-sad, but you don't have to feel guilty about enjoying life. Slowly when you're ready, let joy come back into your life."
The Current Reality: Happy-Sad Existence
When asked if his family is happy again, Green responds: "Happy-sad. It's like the British weather – some days are lovely and sunny and some days are wintry and rainy. But there's definitely more sunny days now." His children have become his "full purpose" and energy source throughout the healing journey.
The Regenerate Leap by Stuart Green is independently published and available now, priced at £14.46. The book serves not only as a personal memoir but as a practical guide for parents, business leaders, and community members navigating their own crises and seeking to transform deep wounds into sources of strength and wisdom.
