Luke Colson, 52, who drank five bottles of wine a day at the height of his addiction, has revealed how he concealed his drinking from his family – including hiding bottles in his garden hedge and pretending to go for a run when he was actually heading to the pub. Now more than seven years sober, he works as an executive TV and film producer and has rebuilt his relationships.
Hidden drinking and secret trips to the shop
Colson, who was born in London and now lives in Venice, west Los Angeles, began drinking and taking drugs socially from the age of 16. Alcohol became a way to cope with childhood trauma, and he later hid his drinking from his then-wife. Over the years, his consumption grew from two bottles of wine a day to three, and eventually to five.
He said he could drain a bottle of wine in as little as 20 seconds in the toilets at work. He would also invent reasons to go to the shop – claiming he needed milk or limes for a recipe – to buy more wine, which he would hide in the garden bush for later.
'I loved the feeling'
Colson said: "At 16 I started drinking heavily and told everyone I loved the feeling of my head spinning. Throughout university it continued, but I just thought I was doing what everyone else was doing."
He added: "But the drinking got heavier and when my then-wife started noticing, I began hiding it. I started drinking in the mornings, I'd come home with giant bruises and black eyes and not know where I'd left my car."
His childhood included an alcoholic father, who passed away several years later, and witnessing a friend die after being hit by a car. In his early adulthood and into his 20s, he drank heavily and took cocaine socially, which he said "subdued feelings of grief and pain".
Things got worse
He met his now ex-wife and they married in 2007. Things spiralled around the time of the birth of his son in 2010, because it brought back his own childhood traumas. He said: "Somehow it would become two or three glasses of wine over dinner.... and then a bottle of wine to myself when I got home. Now I know it was because of my mental health, but at the time I didn't know why."
After the couple had a second child, Colson moved the family to LA when his children were five and two. His then-wife pleaded with him to stop, but he continued in secret. He said: "If there was no alcohol in the house, I'd find a reason to go to the shop, for milk or some limes maybe, for a recipe for dinner. I'd drink an entire bottle of wine in the car, then hide the second in a bush for later."
He added: "I'd drink a bottle of wine in the toilets before work, I'd have another bottle of wine at lunch then a third in the afternoon. A fourth and fifth in the evening. I could drink a bottle in 20 seconds. I'd tell my wife I was going jogging, put on my running clothes and then go to a bar for three glasses of wine. I'd even pour water over my head to look like I'd been sweating and run home. There are probably 20 occasions I can't account for where I woke up shaking in a ditch or with a bruise or blood all over me."
In LA, he was spending around $400 a week on wine. After being handed divorce papers, he lived in a motel for several weeks.
Turning point and recovery
He was allowed to see his children on the condition that he could provide a clear breathalyser test, but he would lie about the test being broken until he was caught out. His turning point came in July 2018.
He said: "After I was thrown out, I proceeded to start drinking myself to death. Until one night an old friend called and I just broke down in tears, surrounded by empty bottles, and asked for help."
After being taken to hospital for dehydration and being put on a drip, he went straight to an Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) meeting, where his sobriety journey began. Despite a couple of "slip-ups" in the first year, he has not had a drop of alcohol since June 17, 2019.
He has since rebuilt relationships, has 50/50 custody of his children – now 13 and 16 – and has a long-term girlfriend. He has had therapy and antidepressants to help with his childhood traumas, and started a recovery podcast, 'Well, That F*cked Me Up!', as well as documenting his journey on TikTok @luke.is.alive_.
He said: "I'm so glad that I got out the grip of that life. It was a miserable existence. I would never wish what I went through on anyone, but I'm at peace now. I'm a happy and confident person. I wouldn't be here today if I hadn't got sober. I know now I was dicing with death and it's terrifying to think about."
