A surrogate mother from Alberta, Canada, has opened up about the hardest part of carrying someone else's baby, revealing it is not the moment of handing over the newborn but the profound loneliness she experienced throughout the process.
Dawn Wickhorst, 33, a photographer and mother of five, decided to become a surrogate in 2019 after learning about the struggles many couples face to conceive. She has since carried babies for two gay couples, describing the experience as incredibly rewarding despite the challenges.
Juggling the care of her five children alongside pregnancy symptoms such as nausea and back pain, Dawn felt isolated. 'The hardest part was actually the loneliness; there were moments where I felt completely invisible,' she said. 'I remember sitting in waiting rooms alone, managing big feelings quietly, or going home afterward to regular responsibilities as a single mum, with no pause to process what I was carrying, literally and emotionally.'
Dawn noted an unspoken expectation for surrogates to 'handle it' quietly because they chose the path, which made pregnancy symptoms feel heavier when dealt with alone. In Canada, it is illegal to pay surrogates, so Dawn undertook the process without financial benefit.
While she did not struggle with handing over the baby, Dawn acknowledged a grieving process when the surrogacy concluded. 'My whole life revolved around having a baby for this couple, and then all of a sudden it was over,' she said. She does not regret her experiences but believes more support services, such as support groups, are needed to combat the loneliness surrogates face.
