Made In Chelsea star Emily Blackwell has revealed her terror that her premature daughter Eva would not survive. The 28-year-old former reality TV star gave birth 10 weeks early, and has spoken exclusively to the Mirror about the experience.
Blackwell, who announced her pregnancy in September last year, said the fear of her daughter not making it was the most overwhelming emotion. 'I guess the thing I was most scared of was her not making it, really,' she admitted. She recalled being only two weeks into her third trimester and worrying her baby would be 'so, so tiny'.
Despite the early arrival, Blackwell was 'pleasantly surprised' when she saw Eva. She described the experience as a blur of concentration and determination. 'There's so many things running through your head but at the same time you're concentrating and just trying to get through it,' she said.
The star credited her fiancé Jordan Oldershaw for supporting her through the ordeal. 'Me and Jordan would have to communicate with each other to help each other out,' she said. 'It was just the unknown we were just so scared. Everyday, you don't know what was going to be thrown at you.'
Blackwell also grappled with guilt, questioning whether she had caused the premature birth. 'About 80% of women who give birth to a pre-term baby aren't given any reasons why,' she explained. 'You're constantly thinking why and what if, was it something I did? Why did my body fail me?' She eventually reframed her thinking: 'Maybe my body saved me, maybe my body saved her.'
The star now speaks to other women in similar situations via Instagram, offering support. For more information on premature births, visit Bliss, the UK charity for babies born premature or sick.
