Lorin La Fave, the mother of 14-year-old Breck Bednar who was groomed and murdered by an online predator in 2014, is urging the incoming Prime Minister to 'choose children over big tech' and maintain protections for young people online. She met with Sir Keir Starmer ahead of the announcement of a teen social media ban and wants the new leader to continue pushing for safer laws.
A mother's worst nightmare
In February 2014, Lorin waved goodbye to her son Breck as he left for a school trip to Spain. 'Beaming' with pride, she had no idea it would be the last time she saw him alive. Breck had been targeted by 19-year-old Lewis Daynes in an online gaming group. After a grooming ordeal, Breck seemed to be recovering, bonding with friends and looking forward to the future. He even shared a photo with a girl he liked on social media.
After returning from Spain, Breck spent the weekend at his father's home. When he asked to visit a school friend, there was no reason to doubt him. But when Breck didn't return, his worried father called Lorin. Panicked, Lorin phoned Breck's friends. 'I knew something was wrong because their voices sounded weird. And the reason their voices sound weird is that they already knew that Lewis Daynes had killed my son. And they were trying not to be the ones to tell me,' she told the Mirror.
The murder and trial
In court, it emerged that Daynes, a computer engineer, had lured Breck to his Essex flat and fatally stabbed him. In January 2015, Mrs Justice Cox sentenced Daynes to a minimum term of 25 years, stating: 'I'm sure that this murder was driven by sadistic or sexual motivation.' Daynes had also traumatised Breck's friends by sending sick photographs of Breck's body, attempting to paint the crime as an accident.
Lorin recalled the horror of learning of her son's death: 'I couldn't stop screaming, and I had to be sedated. It was just the worst possible thing that could happen to any parent.'
Grooming and warning signs
Breck, described as a 'happy-go-lucky' boy skilled in building and fixing things, developed an interest in computers. In Year 9, he switched schools and befriended boys from primary school. Lorin knew most of the local children in the gaming group but was alarmed to hear 'a deeper-sounding voice' talking to the teens. When she asked Breck, he said it was 'this guy Lewis, he runs the server.' Daynes claimed to have an 'amazing job in New York City' despite being just 17.
Lorin, originally from Michigan, was sceptical and would test Daynes by asking about current events in the US, which he frequently failed. Daynes never showed his face, and Lorin feared her son was being groomed. She tried to voice concerns to other parents, who reassured her that gaming with strangers was normal. As Daynes exerted influence, Lorin noticed changes in Breck: he was told that 'religion was bad' and urged to stop going to church or Air Cadets, which he had loved. Daynes also told Breck that school was unnecessary and encouraged him to distance himself from his parents.
Lorin shared her fears with Breck's school tutor, but while Breck had become quieter, he still excelled academically. She phoned the police, but says the officer had no idea what a server was. 'You have a clueless mum about technology and a clueless police person about technology. I was trying to explain to her how worried I was. But she wasn't getting it,' Lorin said.
Intervention and tragedy
Lorin staged an intervention with other parents, and Daynes was banned from contacting the boys. Breck became 'difficult' and disengaged, and Lorin took away his technology for a week. 'It was nice that week because I think he definitely engaged more and tried harder and didn't have some evil danger coming into his headphones into his room,' she said. 'What I didn't know is the predator that week sent him a brand new smartphone worth hundreds and hundreds of pounds.' Using this secret phone, Breck communicated with Daynes, who eventually lured him to his death.
Lorin's campaign for change
Lorin now runs the Breck Foundation to raise awareness of online grooming. She meets with schoolchildren and police officers to share Breck's story and push for change. 'My biggest hope for our future is that the new Prime Minister really understands the issues children face online, and continues to push for safety, including safer laws, choosing children over big tech, and making sure that children's rights and safety come first,' she said. 'If predators online can get to a boy with a family who loved him, did well at school, had friends, was nice looking, and had a whole future ahead of him, online predators can get to anyone.'
Although Lorin welcomes the social media ban, she argues there needs to be 'a cultural change' regarding addictive and dangerous online spaces. 'Raising the age just gives them time to grow and develop, but the education needs to be there first and foremost. The Government needs to support that. It shouldn't be about funding. It should be a basic human right for children to get the education they need to be able to go and live safely within that online portion of their lives, and to have the balance,' she said.
Living with loss
Twelve years on, Lorin and her family hold Breck's memory close, celebrating his birthday with pizza, his favourite. They moved to Deal, Kent, after the tragedy, where the seaside views remind Lorin of Breck. In a touching gesture, she often climbs trees because her son can't. 'I usually do it with Breck in mind, wishing that he could be the one doing it instead of me. Those childhood memories of swinging on swings and going down slides, it all goes away too fast, and if I were making a plea to parents, I would re-evaluate values and how you can bring and keep that childhood within the whole family,' she said.
