A woman has written to an agony aunt asking whether she should attend a family holiday after years of being ignored, whispered about and openly insulted by her mother-in-law and sister-in-law. She says she has “finally had enough” and no longer wants to be treated as a doormat.
Controlling Mother-in-Law Plans 70th Birthday Trip
The reader explains that her mother-in-law is “extremely controlling” and organises events, from weekends to family holidays, that the family are expected to attend. Once there, she says she is treated “like an inconvenience at best” and her sister-in-law is “argumentative and hostile”.
The family has planned a week away for October half term in a large countryside Airbnb to celebrate the father-in-law’s 70th birthday. Normally, she would “bite the bullet” for the sake of her husband and children, but this time she does not feel like it and does not see why she should.
Agony Aunt Advises Skipping the Holiday
In response, the agony aunt, Coleen, says: “I don't think you should go on this holiday. You don’t have to stop your husband and kids going, but you don’t have to put yourself through it.”
She suggests the woman could be honest with her mother-in-law and sister-in-law if they ask why she is not going, explaining that she does not feel welcome. She also advises speaking to her father-in-law about the difficult situation.
Husband Should Step In
Coleen says the husband is “getting off easy” and should be the one to intervene. She advises him to tell his mother and sister that their behaviour is not acceptable, adding: “He should just explain that the reason you’re not going is because they never make you feel welcome.”
She concludes that the woman does not have to be at her mother-in-law’s “beck and call” and can be choosier about which family events she attends, as long as she is not stopping her husband from seeing his family.
