A woman in her 30s recently married her girlfriend of five years at a venue with friends and family, but her father left before the ceremony.
Father's Discomfort with Sexuality
She says her father has never been comfortable with her sexuality and she thinks he always hoped it was just a phase she would grow out of. She was shocked that he turned up to the hotel where the wedding was held, had half a lager in the bar, and then left in an Uber with her stepmother.
Her stepmother sent a message apologising and saying how embarrassed she was by his behaviour, wishing the couple well.
Impact on the Bride
The woman tried not to let what her father did spoil the day, and she says they did have a good time. However, afterwards she felt hurt and let down, and cried her eyes out. She has not spoken to him since, as she does not know where to start and has no idea how to repair the relationship, if that is even possible.
Advice from Coleen
Coleen offers congratulations on the wedding and says she is glad the bride did not let her father’s behaviour ruin the day. She advises letting him know how hurt she is, whether via a phone call or a letter, and reminding him that it is her life to live, that she loves her wife, and that nothing he says or does will change that. Coleen adds that it is hard to know why the father cannot be happy, but it is his issue to deal with, and if he is not prepared to talk, all she can do is be true to herself and live her life.
Coleen suggests that repairing the relationship would be down to the father to make the move, and that the stepmother might be someone who could help. She also recommends an organisation called FFLAG (fflag.org.uk), which supports and guides families with LGBT+ loved ones, and suggests putting the stepmother on to them. The bride deserves to be happy, and her father will be the one missing out on sharing this exciting journey with her.
