The Invite, a new romantic comedy starring Olivia Wilde, Seth Rogen, Penélope Cruz, and Edward Norton, brings heterosexual polyamory into mainstream cinemas. As a practising non-monogamist, reviewer Savina Petkova finds it refreshing to see a film that reflects modern attitudes to non-conventional relationships, instead of using them as a punchline or cautionary tale.
A Shift in Romcom Conventions
Most modern-day big-screen romcoms revolve around overcoming obstacles to reach a monogamous happy ending. The Invite challenges this norm by presenting non-monogamy as a viable option. The film follows married couple Angela and Joe (Wilde and Rogen), who have lost their spark, and their upstairs neighbours Hawk and Piña (Norton and Cruz), who are openly non-monogamous. When Hawk and Piña extend an invitation for shared play, it becomes a catalyst for Angela and Joe to re-examine their relationship.
Representation and Reality
According to Ruby Rare, intimacy expert at dating app Feeld and author of The Non-Monogamy Playbook, on-screen depictions are many people's only frame of reference. "Only 27% of people outside the Feeld community consider alternative relationships normal, compared with 72% within a community that understands them first-hand. The stereotype isn't based on reality; it's based on what we've been shown." In the US and Canada, one in five people have experience with non-monogamy, while in the UK, a third of heterosexual men and 11% of women are open to having more than one long-term partner.
Comedy and Thriller Elements
The Invite blends comedy and thriller genres, amping up the pressure as the dinner party goes from bad to worse, then recasting it as sexual tension. The film explains non-monogamy vocabulary in an anti-didactic way, with lines about "compersion" (the joy of a partner's pleasure with someone else) and "preference sheets" drawing laughter. Director Olivia Wilde, with consultation from therapist Esther Perel, depicts non-monogamy as a space of quiet revolt and shared exploration, rather than an obstacle or fetish.
A New Kind of Dramaturgy
The film suggests that monogamy has great dramaturgy, which is why it's the norm. But The Invite offers a new kind of dramaturgy: the more, the merrier. It doesn't resolve all contradictions, but watching it play out feels cathartic, allowing audiences to laugh in recognition and experience the thrills at a remove.
