Kate Lawler, author and presenter, has spoken out about the pressure she faces to have more than one child, defending her decision to raise her five-year-old daughter Noa as an only child. Lawler, who was initially child-free by choice before being persuaded by her husband, says she is regularly accused of selfishness for not giving Noa a sibling.
Pressure to grow the family
Lawler recalls being told, 'An only child is a lonely child… please give Noa a sibling!' She says that despite societal pressure, she feels secure in her belief that her family of three is perfect. 'I look at Noa now and I can’t believe I ever felt the way I did, because now our family is complete,' she said.
Climate change concerns
Lawler also addresses the guilt she feels over global crises, particularly climate change. She notes that Noa has already shown fears about the environment, such as worrying about plastic in the ocean affecting the fish she eats. Lawler has partnered with NHS organisation Togetherness, which provides online courses for parents to manage such conversations. She shares hopeful facts with Noa, such as that 60% of cars in China are now electric.
Only child benefits
Despite worries about the future, Lawler highlights the positives of having one child: 'We give Noa so much more time and attention, we’re able to experience things together as a family that we wouldn’t be able to afford with more children, and we’ve built such a close relationship with her.' She adds that siblings are not the only way to build a support network, noting that Noa has friends, cousins, and will hopefully build her own community.
Personal struggles
Lawler reveals that her marriage would not survive another child, as the first year of motherhood was difficult, including postnatal depression and hospital visits with Noa. 'I hope she grows up understanding the reasons why her mum decided not to give her something, and I hope she understands that, for me, a healthy, happy mum was better than giving her a sibling,' she said.
