Mike White's series The White Lotus, which concluded its UK run last night, has been the breakout hit of the summer. This is partly because it acts as an amuse bouche for Succession’s return in October – they both feature rich people doing terrible things in beautiful locations – and partly because its characters are all so unbelievably ghastly that you can lose days trying to quantify precisely how ghastly they are.
With that in mind, here is my official White Lotus character ranking, from least awful to most awful. Should you disagree, I would like to hear about it. Before you read on, beware: this piece is absolutely dripping with spoilers for the whole series.
It is saying something that the least dreadful person in The White Lotus was Quinn (Fred Hechinger), a privileged white tourist who abandoned his family for an invented colonial paradise among the magical locals. Nevertheless, he comes out on top here. Forced out of the hotel by his awful sister, he gradually slowed down enough to appreciate the smaller things. In this world, this counts as unbelievable growth.
The only crime Belinda (Natasha Rothwell) was guilty of was being sucked into someone else’s orbit on the promise of money. Tanya – grief-stricken and needy – promised to be her benefactor for a new business, before pulling out at the last minute, leaving Belinda back at square one. However, square one was a well-paying job that she apparently enjoyed, so there are worse fates.
Greg (Jon Gries) is a man with simple needs. At the end of his life, he just wanted someone pretty to have sex with. He got it, it made him happy and nobody else got hurt. If only everything was so easy.
Tanya’s awfulness largely stemmed from her obliviousness. Played with just the right amount of naivety by Jennifer Coolidge, she glommed on to Belinda from the outset, making her feel special and promising her money, before reneging on a whim as soon as a better offer came along. If this was anyone else, Tanya’s actions would be unforgivable. But she is grappling through the fog of bereavement. Might she be a better person in happier circumstances? We will never know.
