A woman in her 40s, engaged for the second time, is feeling hurt and flat after some of her close friends reacted unenthusiastically to her Ibiza wedding plans. She met her fiancé, a DJ, at a club where she badgered him for a song request, and they are now happily in love, planning to marry next spring.
The Wedding Plans
The couple will have an official ceremony at a register office with just their families, followed by a larger celebration in Ibiza with friends. She sent a "save the date" WhatsApp message, but a couple of friends replied quickly, citing kids or jobs as reasons they couldn't attend. Others have been unenthusiastic or haven't replied at all.
"My first marriage was crappy and now I’ve met someone I’m in love with and my life has taken off again," she wrote to Coleen. "I’m finally having fun – going out, travelling, and just enjoying life." She wonders if jealousy is at play, as her friends often complain about their husbands.
Coleen's Advice
Coleen suggests that jealousy or the cost of an Ibiza trip could be reasons for the friends' reactions. "A wedding abroad does put pressure on people, who would probably love to go, but can only afford one holiday a year," she says. She shares that her own daughter Ciara is getting married in Greece with only close family, followed by a big party at home to accommodate friends' budgets.
"As long as you and your fiancé are happy you’ll have a great time, even if some can’t make it," Coleen advises. She notes that all weddings can bring "weirdness," from RSVP issues to seating arrangements, and urges the reader to "cancel out the noise and get on with it."
Coleen recommends saying to friends: "I really hope you can make it, but I understand if it’s too expensive or doesn’t fit with your work holidays." She concludes with congratulations and a wish for a great time.
Coleen's Words of Wisdom
Coleen also offers general advice: "When your life feels busy and overwhelming, get back to what really matters: time spent with family and friends, opportunities to rest and reset, keeping your mind and body healthy, and doing stuff that brings relaxation and joy."
