Will Mellor broke down in tears as he opened up on the torment of losing his sister and his dad, revealing that the darkness of depression made him become "not a good person."
The Two Pints actor's older sister Joanne died at the age of 44 in 2012, and Will admitted he still suffers with feelings of guilt from her passing. In 2020, his dad, Bill, died just weeks after being diagnosed with cancer. The actor revealed how he bottled up his emotions after Joanne's death in order to put up a strong front, but ultimately ended up suffering more.
Struggles with Depression and Guilt
Joanne was born with Marfan syndrome, a genetic connective tissue disorder which meant she was both mentally and physically disabled. Will openly spoke about how he processed the heart-breaking deaths of his family members and what the trauma did to him.
Chatting candidly on Fearne Cotton's podcast Happy Place, Will was left in tears as he detailed his own recovery and admitted he "hated himself" and working through depression. While Will has now learned to be open and honest with his emotions, he also explained how Joanne's death initially led him down a dark path.
Finding a Way Through
He said on the show: "I slipped into depression after that and I wasn't a good person. I just wasn't a good person to be around. I'm a positive person. You know me. I'm a live wire of I want to make everybody happy. I try to make everyone laugh.
"It's hard to talk about because looking back I couldn't help it. But I didn't even want to get out of bed. So that means I wasn't a positive person around my children. I never thought I would find myself in that cloud and not see colour anymore.
"I just did the wrong thing. Drinking, gambling, trying to find a high in life which sent me further down the hole. I hated myself for it. But I got through it. My wife got me through it."
Fearne asked him about the moment he felt he was becoming "slightly better" - and asked what his wife did to help him come through the other side.
"It was stopping the things that was making me worse, the drinking and going out and trying to pretend everything's all right. Because that's what I was very good at," Will said.
"I didn't realise that what I was doing to myself, drinking and you know, gambling and whatever else just made me worse.
"So my wife sticking by me and going, 'Come on, we're going to do this for the kids and being around the kids because they're my world and they're magic and they can they can do great things. Sorry, I'm very emotional. I'm sorry.
"I struggle with my emotions are just there on the surface all the time and I when I talk about these things, it's because I care and I can't help it."
Advice for Others
The Broadchurch and Strictly star admitted that he felt "guilty" about Joanne's death, explaining how he felt it could have been preventable if only someone had been with her to speak up when it mattered most. Will also explained that taking Joanne's case to court offered no solution, despite his belief that more could have been done for her.
Will shared his support for others experiencing such difficult grief with the Mirror, saying: "The advice I'd give is when I lost my dad I just cried when I felt like crying, I let it out. I didn't hold it in, I just let it out. And I think with my sister I held it in, I tried to protect everybody else from grieving. I pretended I was okay when I was dying inside.
"I think talking is massive, you have to talk. If you're struggling it's okay not to be okay - and I know it's a bit of a cliché, but I've said it a lot about mental health awareness. It's okay not to be okay."
