Richard E Grant Shares Heartbreaking Details of Wife's Final Wishes
Actor Richard E Grant has provided a deeply personal and emotional account of his late wife Joan Washington's final wishes, as she battled a devastating terminal lung cancer diagnosis. The beloved dialect coach passed away in September 2021 at the age of 74, just eight months after learning she had stage four lung cancer. Grant's revelations offer a poignant glimpse into their enduring love and the profound impact of her loss.
A Promise Made in the Face of Terminal Illness
Grant disclosed that when Joan received her diagnosis, she made a specific and heartfelt request. "When she was diagnosed, she asked me to promise she wouldn't die in hospital," he told The Times. Honouring this wish became a paramount commitment for Grant. Thanks to the support of medical professionals, Joan spent only four days at the Royal Marsden Hospital before being cared for at home, where she ultimately passed away.
The timing of her diagnosis was particularly cruel, coming just four weeks after Grant had cancelled their private health insurance due to issues with their provider. Despite this, he has consistently praised the "incredible" care provided by NHS staff at the Royal Marsden, acknowledging their dedication during an immensely difficult period.
Targeted Treatment and the Reality of Prognosis
Joan was prescribed a specialised drug designed to target the rare form of lung cancer she had, which mercifully meant she avoided the common side effects of hair loss and chemotherapy. For three months, the treatment offered a glimmer of hope. However, Joan grew increasingly concerned about its effectiveness, a fear that was sadly confirmed when her oncologist, Wanda, returned with blood test results in tears, admitting Joan's suspicions were correct.
Reflecting on this, Grant expressed gratitude for the additional time the treatment afforded them. "But I was grateful for the extra three months that we did have," he stated, highlighting the precious nature of those final moments together.
Intimate Final Moments and a Lasting Connection
In his memoir, A Pocketful of Happiness, Grant revealed another of Joan's intimate final wishes: that they be holding hands when she died. "Of course, you hope that you're going to be able to fulfil that," he wrote. "But the reality is you have no idea. But as it turned out, that is exactly what happened." He also shared the emotionally charged moment when Joan, exhausted by her illness, asked him to "let [her] go," a request he described as a powerful contradiction between the desire for her to live and the need to respect her suffering.
Nearly five years after her death, Grant's grief remains palpable. He admits to crying daily and maintains a unique ritual to feel connected to his wife. "I write to Joan every night. I have no woolly spiritual delusion that I'm going to get a response, but it somehow keeps the connection going," he confessed. This daily practice underscores the depth of his loss and the enduring bond they shared.
A Love Story That Began with Dialect Lessons
The couple's romance began in the early 1980s when Grant, struggling to secure acting roles, sought dialect coaching from Joan. After agreeing on a fee, he visited her home and was initially disheartened to learn she was married. However, when her marriage ended shortly thereafter, they went on a dinner date and never looked back. They married in 1986 and welcomed their daughter, Olivia, now 37. Since Joan's passing, Grant has remained single, describing the idea of being vulnerable with someone new as "mortifying."
"I have no expectation that I will fall in love again, which is not to say that it couldn't or wouldn't happen. I'm not there on a dating app trying to find it," he revealed to The Sunday Times Culture Magazine, indicating his focus remains on honouring Joan's memory and navigating life without her.
