Kylie Minogue has declared she will no longer date narcissists, calling it her “red hot ‘no’” ahead of her new Netflix documentary Kylie. The 57-year-old Australian singer, now single, spoke about seeking the same love she had with INXS frontman Michael Hutchence, but encountered a narcissist along the way. She told the Sunday Times Style magazine: “Narcissists. I’ve dated one, and I’m very grateful I now have that knowledge.”
Psychotherapist Kathleen Saxton, author of My Parent the Peacock, explains that there are two main types of narcissist. The “covert” type is hidden in plain sight, gaining attention through subtle victimhood and manipulation, often provoking others until they retaliate—a phenomenon termed “reactionary abuse.” The “grandiose” type is more overt, full of self-proclaimed brilliance, lacking empathy, and enraged by criticism, often gaslighting those around them.
Saxton warns that narcissists often “lovebomb” initially, making a person feel special, but then introduce intermittent reinforcement—alternating affection and coldness to create emotional dependence. Red flags include a connection that feels too good to be true and excitement quickly turning to anxiety. “Check your central nervous system,” Saxton advises, as the body often senses danger before the mind does.
Minogue’s documentary, a three-part series on her life and career, is described as no-holds-barred. Saxton’s upcoming book, Sly and Mighty: How to Recognize, Resist and Rise Above Toxic Power, is due in September. She emphasises that understanding narcissistic abuse is crucial: “Sadly, you need to be armed to be warned.”
