Jeff Brazier has revealed that he spent nine years in psychotherapy after the death of his ex-partner Jade Goody, admitting he initially denied himself the right to grieve. The 47-year-old television presenter, who shares two sons Freddy, 21, and Bobby, 23, with the late Big Brother star, spoke candidly about his emotional journey on the podcast Pete Wicks: Man Made.
Bottling Up Grief
Jade Goody died from cervical cancer in 2009 at the age of 27, leaving Jeff as the sole parent to their young boys. Jeff confessed that he suppressed his own feelings to focus on his children. “When the boys lost their mum I denied myself the right to feel any grief because we weren't together and I just shut that down, which was wrong,” he said.
He recalled a moment seven or eight years after her death when he appeared on Loose Women and a montage of photos of Jade triggered an emotional breakdown. “I sort of broke down in tears, and I think I was like, 'Ah actually yeah there's me talking about grief, I've written a book on the subject but I haven't even acknowledged the fact that the whole situation was incredibly difficult for me individually',” he added.
Nine Years of Psychotherapy
Jeff described the first eight years of single fatherhood as a struggle, maintaining a “shield of positivity” that was exhausting to uphold. He then embarked on nine years of psychotherapy with a union analyst, which he found transformative. “I did nine years of psychotherapy with a union analyst and that was an amazing experience, every Monday I used to really enjoy the feeling of knowing that that space was mine for an hour,” he shared.
He said the therapy, which involved a process called “re-parenting,” helped him heal childhood issues and soften his character. “I think I am unrecognisable as a man compared to what I was maybe in the first eight years of Bob's life or maybe the first ten, eleven years. There's a lot of softening that has taken place,” Jeff explained.
Lessons from Fatherhood
Jeff credited his sons as his “biggest teachers,” noting that raising them alone shaped him positively. He also rejected the common phrase that he became “both mum and dad” to the boys, insisting he could never replace Jade. “I had to become a hybrid for the boys when they lost their mum - I never liked the term that I became mum and dad because you can never replace... Those boots are impossible to fill, I became a dad but then a hybrid version of myself,” he said.
