A woman in her 30s has written to advice columnist Coleen Nolan, perplexed by her new boyfriend's reluctance to have sex after two months of dating. Despite strong sexual chemistry and passionate kissing, he consistently stops things from progressing further, often starting a conversation or getting up to do something else.
The Reader's Dilemma
The reader explains that both she and her partner are in their 30s and have been single for a while. She describes him as 'really hot' and notes that there is obvious sexual chemistry between them. However, their physical intimacy has never gone beyond kissing and cuddling. She wonders if he is shy, hiding something, or simply not as interested as she thought. Unlike previous relationships where men were eager to progress physically, this situation is new to her.
She fears that being too direct might 'kill the buzz' or scare him off, as they are still getting to know each other and the relationship is going well. Asking outright about sex feels awkward and cringe-worthy to her.
Coleen's Advice
Coleen Nolan advises the reader to have an open conversation with her partner. She suggests that he might be worried about whether she is ready, or because he likes her so much, he doesn't want to rush things or make a mistake. Alternatively, he may lack sexual confidence, in which case she could take the lead.
Drawing from her experience on 'Celebs Go Dating,' Coleen emphasizes the importance of transparency in relationships to avoid mixed signals. She encourages the reader to bring up the topic naturally during a relaxed moment, perhaps over a drink, by discussing where they see the relationship going. This can lead to talking about sex and taking the next steps. Sharing feelings openly can give him the confidence to share his own thoughts.
Coleen concludes that honest communication is key to resolving the confusion and strengthening the relationship.
