Dame Judi Dench has said she would be useless as a real-life spy boss because she cannot even put up an ironing board. The 91-year-old Oscar winner played M, the head of MI6, in eight James Bond movies. In the films, M has to sign off all the specialised gadgets developed by Q, including a jetpack, a grenade pen and a magnetic watch.
Admits she pretended to understand gadgets
Dame Judi said she was useless with gadgets and even had to pretend to film bosses that she understood them when in reality she did not. She said: "I loved playing M because it was great to be able to tell all those men where to get off; put them in their place. I was drunk with power. I also got to wear some very nice suits and pretend I knew what I was talking about and to muck about with gadgets when, in real life, I can't even work the ironing board."
Dame Judi, who has a Tony Award, two Golden Globes, six BAFTAs and seven Olivier Awards, also revealed how security guards used to think she was a shoplifter. She blamed Tracey Ullman, who portrayed her in her sketch show as a kleptomaniac. She said: "After Tracey Ullman made that sketch show where she portrayed me as a potty-mouthed kleptomaniac, there was a time when I couldn't walk into a shop without being followed around by a store detective."
Admits driving without a licence for 30 years
Dench has also admitted she broke the law for 30 years by driving without a licence. She reveals in her new memoir that she continued to get behind the wheel for decades despite being caught by police and fined for driving offences. Judi recalls making journeys between London and Stratford in a black open-top MG sports car despite only having a provisional licence.
Speaking to fellow actor Brendan O'Hea, she says: "I really loved that car. It had a retractable roof, which wouldn't close, and so I always drove round with a couple of handy sou'westers in the glove compartment in case it rained. And then I got caught going round Parliament Square."
When a police officer asked whether she had a licence, Judi replied that she only had a provisional one. The officer was not impressed, reporting her for the offence and for having no L-plates and driving with a broken sidelight. "I think I was called to appear at Bow Street magistrates' court - it was as serious as that," says Judi.
"Anyway, I tried my luck and I wrote a letter. 'Dear Sir,' I said, 'on such-and-such a date I was stopped by the police and accused of not having L-plates. I did have L-plates - they were adhesive, but you know what the weather's been like these days, my lord.' I actually wrote that. I was still fined £2, which was a lot of money back then."
