Rebecca Wilcox, the daughter of Dame Esther Rantzen, has described the 'impossible' challenge of deciding when her mother should end her life through assisted suicide. The 86-year-old broadcaster and Childline founder, diagnosed with terminal lung cancer in 2023, has been campaigning for legalisation of assisted dying in the UK but says she will not live to see it happen.
Family struggles with timing
Speaking on Channel 5's Vanessa, Rebecca revealed the agonising calendar deliberations: 'She's looking at a calendar, going 'My grandson's birthday is here, the twins' birthday is here, these ones are starting a new school here.' She added that her mother said she 'can't possibly' choose January because it would be 'horrible' for her daughters.
Rebecca explained that if Dame Esther waited until she had fluid on her lungs and was drowning internally, 'It would be those last four days of agony. It's peaceful and it's kind, and it is empathetic and we're there.'
Dignitas requirements add pressure
The family is also constrained by Dignitas rules: patients must travel independently and be of sound mind. 'You have to be healthy to travel – you have to get there under your own steam, you can't have somebody push a wheelchair, they will be in trouble,' Rebecca said. 'So it's an impossible answer. I don't know how she does it. I don't know how decides when to go. I don't want her to go.'
Rebecca admitted she is 'this close to calling some sort of air flight emergency' and apologised in advance if anyone's holidays coincide with her mother's planned trip.
Respecting her mother's wishes
Despite the pain, Rebecca said she 'respects' Dame Esther's choice to travel to Dignitas, noting that the 'last thing' her mother wants is for her children to witness her 'awful' death. She described the process: her mother would take a taxi, be alive for 48 hours, then die in Switzerland – a scenario she called not 'empathetic and compassionate' compared to dying at home with family.
'This is the one selfish act she will ever do in her life,' Rebecca said, adding that she does not want to see her mother in pain, just as Dame Esther does not want her children to see it. Rebecca recalled that happy memories of her father, Desmond Wilcox, were overshadowed by witnessing his suffering: 'And then a corpse, that replaced everything for me, for years.'
Assisted dying bill stalls in Parliament
The Terminally Ill Adults (End of Life) Bill passed the House of Commons on June 20 last year but has been blocked in the Lords by a small minority who raised over 1,200 amendments, including a requirement for pregnancy tests for both men and women. The bill expired last month after nearly 17 months of debate. Earlier this year, Dame Esther revealed her treatment was no longer effective.
The Macmillan Support Line offers confidential support to people living with cancer and their loved ones at 0808 808 0000.
