Daily Star agony aunt Jane O'Gorman offers straight-talking advice to readers facing dilemmas about secret phones, ex-lovers, jealous friends, and disappointing gifts. In her latest column, she addresses four distinct problems, urging honesty, self-respect, and clear communication.
Woman with Secret Phones and Cash Sparks Suspicion
A reader, identifying as 'Daddy uncool,' writes that his girlfriend owns multiple mobile phones, carries large amounts of cash, wears designer clothes, and travels to Paris and New York without explanation. He suspects she may be seeing a 'sugar daddy' again, as her best friend once revealed she had an older sponsor in Spain who provided gifts and money in exchange for companionship and sex. The woman claims to be an 'influencer,' but the reader doubts this. He fears confronting her, worried she might end the relationship.
Jane O'Gorman advises him to prioritize his mental and sexual health. 'You need to consider your mental and sexual health,' she writes. She recommends insisting on honesty: 'Insist she levels with you. Explain that you saw the secret phones and now have questions.' Jane emphasizes that trust and transparency are vital for the relationship to survive, urging him to decide if he can continue with someone living a double life.
Man Struggles to Stop Sleeping with Ex-Husband
Another reader, 'He ravishes me,' confesses to continuing a sexual relationship with her ex-husband despite his engagement to another woman. She describes a love-hate dynamic, hating his personality but loving the physical intimacy. She feels weak and wants to change.
Jane calls the relationship 'toxic and destructive' and advises her to cut ties completely. 'You must find the strength to tell him, ‘no more,’' she writes. Jane suggests physically moving away to avoid temptation, noting that the ex benefits from 'the best of both worlds.' She warns that self-worth will continue to decline if the reader doesn't move on.
Jealous Friends Spread Rumours After Promotion
'Green eyed monsters' writes that three oldest friends are jealous of her career success, including a promotion and a company car. Two have stopped speaking, while the third is sarcastic and rude. They spread rumours that she slept her way to the top, which she denies.
Jane acknowledges the reader's hard work and calls jealousy 'a nasty, corrosive emotion.' She suggests meeting to clear the air, but if the friends remain bitter, advises moving on: 'Being openly jealous and envious sounds very immature and petty.'
Disappointed by Mother-in-Law's Charity Shop Gifts
'Charity shock' is upset that her mother-in-law gave her a scented candle and chipped vase from a charity shop for her birthday, while she always gives £30 in a card. Her husband insists on continuing the gift exchange as a family tradition.
Jane suggests the mother-in-law may enjoy charity shopping or have limited funds. She advises accepting the gifts graciously: 'Say ‘thank you’ and move on.' If the reader can afford to give £30, Jane recommends continuing, as it may mean a lot to her mother-in-law.
Readers can send problems to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email jane.ogorman@reachplc.com. Jane cannot respond individually, and not all problems are published.
