Mark Haddon, the author of The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time, has reflected on his upbringing in a household where love was rarely shown. In a personal essay, he describes his childhood in 1960s and 70s Northampton as profoundly unhappy, marked by distant parents and a retreat into his own imagination.
Haddon recalls living at 288a Main Road, New Duston, with his parents and younger sister Fiona. He notes the absence of meaningful conversation in the home, saying: 'It wasn't so much that no one spoke, it was that no one talked.' The most important things, he felt, happened inside his own head and were not shared with others.
He shares a vivid memory of his sister having a nightmare in which their father chased her with a knife. The dream persisted for 45 years, only stopping when their father's Alzheimer's became unmanageable and he entered a care home. Haddon himself had recurrent nightmares, including one where he drowned in a diving suit after being flushed down a toilet.
Despite the unhappiness, Haddon feels a strange longing when looking at old photographs from that era. He suggests that objects and memories from childhood provide a form of consolation in a world where adults were 'unpredictable and distant and unloving.' The essay explores what it means to lose parents who never showed you love.
