Custody: The Secret History of Mothers by Lara Feigel – A Deep Dive into Maternal Anguish
Lara Feigel's latest work, Custody: The Secret History of Mothers, offers a profound and unsettling examination of the enduring pain associated with child custody disputes. Drawing from her own personal experiences, Feigel embarks on a comprehensive journey through history, fiction, and reportage to uncover the persistent challenges mothers face when fighting for their children.
The Historical Context of Custody Battles
The book opens with a vivid depiction of French novelist George Sand, who in a state of desperate anxiety, immerses herself in a river while awaiting a court appearance to secure custody of her children. This powerful imagery sets the tone for a narrative that swiftly transitions between different eras and personal stories. Feigel skillfully weaves in the tale of Caroline Norton, a 19th-century Englishwoman whose sons were forcibly taken away by their father. Norton's courageous activism led to significant legal reforms, granting women basic rights over their property and children, yet her story is marred by tragedy, including the death of one of her sons during their separation.
Feigel's research highlights how prejudices against independent women, evident in Norton's case in England, were similarly pervasive in France, affecting figures like Sand. The narrative then shifts to the United States, recounting the harrowing ordeal of Elizabeth Packard, who was institutionalised in an insane asylum after disagreeing with her husband's religious views, resulting in her separation from her children. This historical exploration is juxtaposed with modern instances, such as Britney Spears' involuntary confinement in a psychiatric hospital in 2008, underscoring the timeless nature of these struggles.
Personal Reflections and Emotional Honesty
In a particularly moving segment, Feigel interviews acclaimed author Edna O'Brien, who appears hollow-eyed from sleepless nights due to her own custody battles. Although O'Brien ultimately won custody of her sons, the conversation between the two writers lays bare the raw emotional toll of such conflicts. They share tears over broken promises and the heart-wrenching scenarios of children crying themselves to sleep, highlighting the profound impact on both mothers and their offspring.
This emotional honesty extends to Feigel's analysis of more contemporary figures, such as Alice Walker, who attempted to share custody of her daughter post-divorce. The arrangement was met with resentment from her daughter, Rebecca Walker, which Feigel interprets as evidence of the fading optimism from 1960s liberal progress. Through these personal accounts, the book paints a vivid picture of the clash between women's liberation and the entrenched needs of children, patriarchal norms, legal arguments, and ex-spousal animosity.
The Lack of Progress and Modern Implications
As the narrative unfolds, it becomes increasingly clear that there is little sense of forward movement in the realm of child custody. Feigel's epilogue delves into contemporary courtrooms and legal documents, revealing how children continue to suffer unnecessary pain due to the actions of parents and lawyers. New voices and characters emerge, each demanding empathy and outrage, yet their stories feel somewhat rushed, lacking the depth needed to fully convey their compelling tales.
Despite this grim outlook, Feigel attempts to conclude on a hopeful note, envisioning a future where modernity embraces motherhood without conflict, allowing emancipation and care to coexist. She imagines a legal system that grants children genuine agency. However, given the weight of the stories she presents, this optimism appears fragile and tenuous, leaving readers to ponder the ongoing challenges in child custody battles.
Custody: The Secret History of Mothers by Lara Feigel is published by William Collins, priced at twenty-five pounds. This book serves as a crucial reminder of the historical and ongoing struggles mothers face in their fight for custody, blending meticulous research with heartfelt narrative to create a powerful and thought-provoking read.
