Lara Feigel's new book, 'Custody: The Secret History of Mothers', delves into the painful history of child custody battles, using her own experience as a starting point. The book explores the past, present and future of maternal separation, drawing on historical figures such as George Sand and Caroline Norton, as well as contemporary cases like Britney Spears.
Feigel's narrative moves swiftly between centuries and continents, from 19th-century France to modern-day America. She highlights the struggles of independent women like Sand, who fought for custody of her children, and Norton, whose campaigning led to basic rights for women over property and children. However, the book also reveals how little has changed, with cases like Elizabeth Packard, who was institutionalised for disagreeing with her husband's religious views.
The author interviews writer Edna O'Brien, who eventually won custody of her sons but remains haunted by the pain of the battle. Feigel and O'Brien share a moment of raw honesty, crying over promises made to children that could not be kept. The book could have ended there, but instead moves on to Alice Walker's experience of shared custody, which left her daughter resentful.
In the epilogue, Feigel examines contemporary courtrooms, showing how children continue to suffer due to parental and legal conflicts. She ends with a fragile hope for a future where emancipation and care can coexist, and where the legal system gives children genuine agency. However, given the stories she has told, this optimism feels thin.
