Daily Star agony aunt Jane O'Gorman is on hand every day to tackle readers' issues with straight-talking advice. From bedroom confessions to self-confidence problems and drug use, she has helped thousands of readers over the years. Readers can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email jane.ogorman@reachplc.com. Jane cannot respond to individual letters, and not all problems will be published.
Partner Wants to Become Online Performer
A reader wrote that his partner wants to give up her well-paid job to become a sexy online performer. She believes she can earn thousands from her bedroom, but he thinks she is deluded. He noted she does not like stripping off even in front of him, always keeps a T-shirt on during sex, and is self-conscious about her big boobs. She also argues with people she considers stupid and has a thin skin, quick to anger. A friend who found her 'niche' sending dirty socks has turned her head.
Jane advises the reader to express his thoughts and fears calmly, explaining he feels uncomfortable at the thought of her stripping off for paying punters. She suggests asking what if it gets out of hand and what if she regrets her actions. Then he should leave her to make up her own mind, as it is her life. Jane reminds him to consider whether she will tell friends and family, and to remind her that bills still need paying if they live together. Giving up a steady job is always a risk, and he must decide if he wishes to stick around if she goes ahead.
Controlling 'Queen Bee' Friend
Another reader described going home early at 9pm from a girl's night out after a hard day. When her 'Queen Bee' friend shouted 'shots!', she said no thanks, and the friend went wild, accusing her of spoiling the fun. The friend grabbed her bag and was furious at being disobeyed for the first time in five years. Now other friends are scared to contact the reader for fear of upsetting the Queen Bee.
Jane called the friend 'a horrible sounding person' and said the reader is well out of it. As an adult, she is entitled to do what she likes and should never feel obliged to stay out late and drink to placate a more dominant individual. Jane suggests doing nothing at all, giving herself a break, and getting her life back. If the friend reaches out, she should talk. Jane believes the reader has had a lucky escape and a chance to shed the past and start again with people who are her equal.
Destructive Sister-in-Law
A third reader complained that every time her sister-in-law comes over, something gets broken. Last weekend she smashed two crystal glasses. In the past, the reader has found cracked mugs and plates, and once the bathroom mirror was hanging off. The reader thinks the sister-in-law is so jealous that she deliberately lashes out.
Jane asks what the reader's partner thinks and suggests meeting the sister-in-law only on neutral territory, such as a café, pub, or the in-law's home, in future. She advises trusting instincts because the reader knows her home best. If the sister-in-law cannot be trusted, she will have to pay the price by not being invited over again. Jane warns against making accusations that cannot be backed up with hard evidence.
