The votes are in for Mirror Football's inaugural 'Pundit Ballon d'Or', and the grand finale is set: Roy Keane versus Ian Wright. The perpetually unimpressed Manchester United legend faces the joyously optimistic Arsenal icon in a blockbuster match-up. But there is one glaring problem: the wrong people were voted for.
The competition was ruined in the semi-finals, when the one man who actually deserved to win was eliminated: Gary Neville. His exit in the final four was a travesty, and it raises a serious question about what makes a great pundit.
What makes a top pundit?
For this observer, a good football pundit must deliver two distinct pillars: analysis and entertainment, in that exact order. Primarily, a pundit's job is to educate, to take a chaotic 45 minutes of football, freeze it, dissect it, and point out the tiny details the rest of us missed. We need experts to teach us something new and explain the broader context, not highly-paid ex-pros stating the obvious.
Entertainment is essential, of course, but pure entertainment without tactical insight is pointless. If we just wanted loud vibes, we could put a microphone in front of a fan down the pub or replace half-time analysis with studio banter. We don't need comedians masquerading as analysts; we need experts who can spot and explain the mechanics of the game.
The finalists fall short
Keane and Wright made the showpiece for understandable reasons. Wright brings infectious, tail-wagging energy, while Keane can be box office with his deadpan, grumpy persona. They make fantastic TV, but are they top-tier pundits? Not really. They are both inherently average at the actual job of analysis.
When either of them speaks at half-time, you don't have to listen; you already know what's coming. They might tell us how brilliantly Manchester City have attacked when 4-0 up, or how shaky a defender looks when a team is imploding. It's entertaining, but rarely thought-provoking.
Neville strikes the balance
Gary Neville, alongside Jamie Carragher (whose round-of-16 elimination was a crime in itself), is one of the few who genuinely strikes the perfect balance. He can be biased and insufferable, but he actually does the job. He spots subtle tactical tweaks and translates complex match dynamics into plain English.
When Roy Keane says, "That's a dreadful shot," a Gary Neville explains: "You can see he leans back a fraction because he expects the centre-back to clatter into him - that's why he skews it." Neville doesn't drone on about the obvious; he tells you things you didn't know but definitely should, all while being wildly entertaining. His spiky squabbling with Carragher is modern TV gold.
By crowning a 'Keano' or a 'Wrighty', the Pundit Ballon d'Or becomes a glorified popularity contest. If the prompt were "Who is your favourite bloke to watch the footy with?", both finalists have a case. But if we're talking about the best pundit, the one who masters the art of football analysis, Keane and Wright shouldn't be near the final. Gary Neville is the true, uncrowned king of the gogglebox.
