Daily Star's agony aunt Jane O'Gorman is on hand every day to tackle readers' issues with straight-talking advice. From bedroom confessions to self-confidence problems and drug use, she has helped thousands of readers over the years and continues to do so.
Readers seeking help can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP, or email jane.ogorman@reachplc.com. Jane cannot respond to individual letters, and not all problems will be published.
Friend's betrayal and a partner's denial
A reader wrote that her oldest friend resents her success, including her good job, higher income, and relationship. The friend has been seen 'sucking up' to the reader's man and was spotted with him in a wine bar, with her arm around his neck. Later, the friend asked to stay with the couple, claiming her flatmate was driving her nuts.
The reader returned home early to find the friend wrapped around her partner on the sofa, and the same thing happened the next night. After a few days away, the reader found her bedroom trashed, with filthy bedlinen, empty bottles, and a broken lamp. The friend's room had not been slept in. The reader threw the friend out, but her partner insists he never cheated, claiming the friend slept with other men in their bed while he hid at his mum's house.
Jane advised that the reader was right to throw the friend out and should keep her out of her life forever, describing the woman as 'pure poison'. Jane suggested the reader ask her partner why he ran and why he allowed the friend to destroy their bedroom. She recommended the reader tell her partner she needs space, suggest he stay with family, and blitz the bedroom with new bedlinen while thinking things through.
A girlfriend who always tells the truth
Another reader complained that his girlfriend has an annoying habit of always telling the truth, blurting out the obvious when nervous. She has told his brother he is arrogant and flash, informed his sister she is a control freak, and told his boss that the reader hates the firm. The reader is due to visit his mum and stepdad in Ireland and relies on his mum for cash top-ups, so he wants to ensure his girlfriend keeps quiet about his stepdad, whom he calls a 'muppet'.
Jane advised the reader to explain the situation and ask his girlfriend to hold back, suggesting she count to twenty before sounding off. Jane reminded him that no one appreciates having faults flagged up and asked whether the financial arrangement with his mother is mutually respectful and healthy, or whether it is time to stand on his own two feet.
Family disapproval of a new partner
A third reader is devastated that no one likes her new bloke. Her mum claims he is untrustworthy, her sister thinks he is a 'sleaze ball', and her dad has ordered her not to bring him round. Two mates have organised Halloween and firework parties to which neither of them were invited. The reader thinks he is great, loving, and kind, and 'red hot in bed'.
Jane urged the reader to see where everyone else is coming from and to calm down, give everyone space and time, and see what develops. She advised not to alienate those who have loved her the longest and to keep an open mind, holding her hands up and walking away if she has made a mistake.
Recovering a £60 debt
Finally, a reader asked how to get back £60 owed by a friend. In July, they jointly bought a wedding present for a former work colleague, with the reader paying the full £120 on her credit card. The friend promised to reimburse her but never has. The bride is now planning a big Christmas night out, and the friend has put her name down.
Jane advised speaking to the friend about the cash owed, suggesting she could give £5 a week. She questioned how the friend can justify a Christmas night out with outstanding debts. If the friend continues to duck out, Jane suggested speaking to the credit card company or reluctantly wiping the debt and rethinking the friendship.
