For years, Liam De Brun has lived with anxiety and depression, driven by a desperate need to predict his future. In a bid to confront this, he visited a tarot card reader located behind a yellow curtain on the third floor of Afflecks in Manchester, paying £15 for an experience he describes as a lesson in learning to trust his gut.
De Brun, a TV and Celebrity writer, has always been the kind of person who wants to know what is going to happen and when. The uncertainty of life has never failed to fill him with dread. His childhood anxiety evolved into a heavy bout of depression as a teenager, a period he describes as a "living nightmare." Since the age of 17, he has been on antidepressants that have helped him stop fearing that the world will stop spinning.
A Step Beyond the Yellow Curtain
Despite not considering himself the target audience for a tarot reading, De Brun decided to try it as part of making a conscious effort to try more things for the first time before turning 30. He found the reading spot on the third floor of Afflecks, across from Crystal Henge, in what appears to be a hidden room behind a yellow curtain.
Upon arrival, he found three people waiting: a pair of girlfriends from the Middle East and an American man. The American man, who had been doing readings for years, talked to him about how calming the experience would be. De Brun then spoke with the couple from Kuwait, one of whom was a lawyer who explained star signs to him, accurately noting that as a Capricorn, he is shy until you get to know him. The two women let him go before them, easing his nerves.
Meeting the Reader and the Cards
De Brun met his reader, Maxine, who said she has been doing tarot readings for over three decades, turning professional after doing readings for her co-workers in her old job. He was handed a giant deck of cards and asked to shuffle them, spending a long time to ensure nothing was predetermined. Maxine explained what the cards mean in theory and invited him to put his own interpretation on it. De Brun describes the experience as the closest feeling to being in therapy without paying £100 for it, noting his reading cost £15.
The card that stuck with him most was the High Priestess, which represents the subconscious mind and inner wisdom. Maxine emphasised that he needs to trust his gut. The second card that stuck with him was the Fool, which represents taking a leap of faith into the unknown. The main message from the reading was to run away from self-doubt, something he has been trying to do for 27 years.
A Lifelong Marathon of Self-Doubt
One week on from the experience, De Brun has concluded that running from self-doubt isn't a sprint or a short-distance race, but might just be a lifelong marathon. He argues that while some may say these things are obvious or vague, sometimes you need to hear the things you've been screaming at yourself from another person. Maxine also showed him the personal explanations she puts on her cards in a handwritten book.
At the end of the session, De Brun asked about the death card. They went through the cards he shuffled, and it was the card he was the furthest away from. Although he was told that the death card is one of Maxine's favourites as it doesn't mean what you think, he fears he would have evaporated if he touched it. Whether he will go back for another reading remains to be seen, but he notes that considering how crazy the world is right now, sometimes it's nice to know that your future is what you make of it.
