Paul Drayton, the former husband of comedian Alan Carr, has written a brutally honest memoir about his life in the fast lane, his friendship with Adele, and his struggles with alcohol, drugs, and undiagnosed ADHD. The 54-year-old actor and party planner insists his book, Ride or Die Trying, is not a showbiz tell-all but a candid account of the toll that lifestyle can take.
Meeting Alan Carr and Adele
Drayton met Carr in 2008 at a swanky club while under the influence of alcohol and drugs. He recalls an instant bond, saying, "Sexy? Sure. Marriage material? Possibly. Did I know at that moment, I'd marry him one day? Of course not. But something clicked." They got engaged in 2016 and married in 2018, with Adele hosting and officiating their Los Angeles wedding. Adele lived near them in London's Notting Hill and became a close friend, often joining them for casual nights in with Thai takeaway. Drayton says, "Most evenings we'd just get a Thai takeaway. Adele would turn up with a cheap bottle of wine which we sank in a second and moved to our supplies."
Friendship with Adele
Drayton devoted an entire chapter to Adele, recalling memories like taking her to TK Maxx for the first time. He also remembers when she played her pre-released album 30 for them. "By the end, I was in bits," he says, telling her, "It's like you've taken your whole life and put it in a box and tied it with a ribbon." Drayton helped introduce Adele to her first husband, Simon Konecki, father of her son Angelo, now 13. He adds, "She was always very honest and open with me and Alan because she knew she could trust us."
Struggles with Alcohol, Drugs, and ADHD
Originally from Sunderland, Drayton moved to London to pursue acting but worked in bars, which fueled his drinking and cocaine use. "Alcohol and drugs became my crutch. They slowed my brain down, quietened the constant noise in my head," he says. He was later diagnosed with ADHD late in life, explaining, "People with an ADHD brain are far more sensitive than the usual neurotypical brain." His behavior, including an arrest for letting down the tires of a delivery van, became fodder for Carr's jokes, with Carr calling him 'Drama Drayton.'
Life in the Fast Lane
Despite the high life, Drayton often felt insecure and inadequate as the 'kept man.' He says, "From the outside, it looked like I had it all. Alan in the spotlight, me in the wings. The 'plus one.'... But I wasn't just standing there. I was driving the car, clearing the path, fixing the messes." He ran a property development company that gave him self-worth, even if it didn't match Carr's earnings. They bought homes in Notting Hill and West Sussex, entertaining guests by the pool.
Downfall and Aftermath
After a drink-driving incident in October 2021, Drayton was jailed in January 2022. He successfully appealed and got the sentence suspended, but he and Carr confirmed their split that month. Drayton still has fond memories of Adele, though they are not in touch as often. "I still feel an enormous love for her," he says. His memoir, Ride or Die Trying, is described as boxing up his life "with a slightly frayed ribbon" and finally handing it over.
