Meg Mason, author of Sorrow and Bliss, reflects on the intense, one-sided bonds readers form with authors, a phenomenon now widely known as parasocial relationships. In a personal essay, she traces her own such connection to Nancy Mitford, whose novels offered her companionship during a lonely period before university.
A Lifeline in Loneliness
Before starting university, Mason's mother gave her a copy of The Pursuit of Love. Having moved countries during her A-levels, she experienced a level of loneliness she had never known, which she describes as acute and pervasive, feeling like panic. She had always had real friends, but suddenly she did not, and so she accepted the paperback and began to read.
She loved it immediately and soon sought out Mitford's other novels, finding humour and solace in them. The characters provided company, and eventually she came to believe that had she met Mitford, they would have become friends. Even at 48, she still finds it hard to believe Mitford is not actually her friend.
What Are Parasocial Relationships?
Mason never described this as a parasocial relationship, but that is precisely what it is: a connection someone feels between themselves and a famous person they do not know, as defined by the Cambridge Dictionary when it was named word of the year in 2025. The term was devised in the 1950s by academics studying television viewers' connections to characters.
Statistics on such relationships are hard to gather. An online study a couple of years ago suggested that 51% of Americans have likely been in parasocial relationships, though only 16% admit to it.
Authors and Readers: A Deeper Bond
While writing her novel Sophie, Standing There, about a parasocial relationship between a reader and an author, Mason spoke to fellow authors. Cathy Rentzenbrink, whose memoir The Agatha Christie Cure is published next month, admitted to talking to Christie while rereading her novels. She said, "I started talking to her and she was talking back. I am a bit embarrassed, not by the experience, which was wondrous, but by what people might say or how they might judge me. I was often scared I was going mad."
Dr Georgia Carroll, a sociologist researching parasocial relationships, believes almost everyone has had one, whether with Taylor Swift or Lewis Hamilton. She notes that with books, the connection becomes deeper because they hold such a place in readers' lives. "Everybody has that favourite book that is so meaningful to them because the author captured something that makes us feel less alone."
The Role of Imagination and Podcasts
Book lovers may be primed for these bonds because novels are about imaginary relationships, and reading requires suspending disbelief. Rentzenbrink says readers are trained to fill in the gaps, converting sentences into multi-dimensional worlds. Book blogger Tilly Fitzgerald agrees that lines can blur between a beloved character and the author who created them.
Barbara Trapido, author of Brother of the More Famous Jack, has formed many deep relationships with characters, once believing she was Henry James's Isabel Archer. She also recalls talking to Shakespeare "through yearning, but all unawares."
With living authors, the sense of knowing them is keener, aided by podcasts. Jack Edwards of the Inklings Book Club says podcasts feel more intimate, bringing the author's voice into homes and commutes. "It's a together-aloneness, where we have company in our ears, but otherwise feel unobserved."
Mason reflects on being an author herself, noting that readers can be passionate, but she has met no one wanting more than to chat about books. She is grateful that Nancy was there for her when needed, concluding, "We read and so we aren't alone." Sophie, Standing There is published by Bloomsbury on 27 August.
