A reader has noticed her close friend becoming distant and cold after reuniting with her husband, who has had numerous affairs and treated her badly in the past. The friend, who previously relied on the reader for support and advice, now rarely meets up and avoids discussing her marriage.
The reader's dilemma
The reader, writing to agony aunt Coleen Nolan, explains that she has always been the shoulder to cry on for her friend, who even stayed with her family a couple of times when her husband was particularly horrible. The friend split up with him for a while and lived with her sister, but recently got back with him and they are living together again.
Since reuniting, the friend has been very cold, never available to meet up, and never discusses her marriage. The reader is unsure whether to pretend everything is normal or challenge her friend about the distance.
Coleen's advice
Coleen suggests the friend is probably embarrassed that she has told the reader everything and suspects the reader disapproves. She notes that leaving a marriage is not easy, even when one's head says it is right, and that the friend may not have reached that point yet.
Coleen advises the reader to drop her friend a line, saying it would be great to catch up, that she hopes everything is going well, and that she is always there if needed. Then the ball is in the friend's court. If no response comes, the reader should let it go.
Words of wisdom
Coleen adds that when making a fresh start, one does so with wisdom and experience, and everything done up to that point has taught something useful for the new chapter.
