Every day, the Daily Star's agony aunt Jane O'Gorman offers straight-talking advice on a range of personal issues, from bedroom confessions to self-confidence problems. Readers can write to Just Jane, Daily Star, One Canada Square, London, E145AP or email jane.ogorman@reachplc.com. Jane cannot respond to individual letters, and not all problems will be published.
Trust Issues with a 'Bad Boy' Boyfriend
A reader worries her boyfriend, who has moved in with her, is obsessed with their neighbour who offers 'personal services' to paying gentlemen. The neighbour is domineering and strict, and the reader fears her thrill-seeking boyfriend might be tempted to cheat, especially since he has cheated on all his ex-girlfriends. Despite his promises to be faithful, she feels anxious and stressed, not wanting to appear jealous.
Jane says every relationship functions on truth and trust. The boyfriend hasn't done anything to justify her fears, and she should consider why his word isn't good enough. While he has a reputation, he's allowed to turn over a new leaf. However, constant questioning could push him away. If she can't believe him, maybe he's not the right one. Jane advises talking to him to clear the air, trusting her instincts, and not putting up with nonsense.
Workplace Harassment from a Female Colleague
A private gay man is being sexually harassed by a younger, pretty female colleague who touches his arm and slaps his bum. He's not out to family or colleagues and wants her to stop without drawing attention to himself. He's unsure if it's a wind-up, a deliberate humiliation, or genuine interest.
Jane suggests the woman sees him as a challenge, being a vain attention seeker surrounded by admirers. She advises him not to let her intimidate him. He should keep away from her as much as possible and, if she touches him again, politely ask her to stop. If it continues, he should speak to his union and HR, keep a diary of events, and check ACAS for support.
Dealing with a Toxic Friend
Another reader's oldest friend criticises her cooking, clothes, and house in front of her children, joking about her being lazy or mean. The friend recently called her 'tight' for not cooking enough for tea. The reader is sick of the barbs, especially since the friend spends much time in her kitchen.
Jane advises telling this annoying woman to take a hike, suspecting jealousy but not excusing rudeness. She suggests editing her out of life and showing her the door before things escalate.
