In a thoughtful response to Luke Kennard's recent piece on straight male authors avoiding sex in fiction, Vincent Straub, a PhD candidate at the University of Oxford, argues that the more pressing dialogue about sexual pleasure isn't confined to novels but must permeate everyday life. While literary courage is commendable, Straub emphasises that real transformation occurs off the page, in spaces like dating apps, classrooms, and social gatherings.
The Urgent Need for Honest Conversations
Research increasingly reveals bidirectional links between sexual function and mental health, underscoring the necessity for a societal rethink. Yet, many young people lack honest, embodied knowledge about sex and pleasure, often left unprepared by teachers or parents. This vacuum has been poorly filled by pornography, with a recent survey from FFS Productions indicating that half of young people cite porn as their first exposure to sex, and 60% of daily viewers report it shaping their real-life expectations.
Problematic Expectations and the Search for Alternatives
Given the often problematic nature of these expectations, Straub advocates for better alternatives to mainstream porn. He highlights the need for evidence-based resources and open discussions to foster healthier attitudes toward sexual wellbeing.
Five Steps to Enhance Sexual Knowledge and Pleasure
Straub proposes five starting points for improving sexual education and pleasure in society:
- Explore evidence-based sex education resources: Platforms like the award-winning OMGYes offer interactive, research-led content to demystify sexual pleasure.
- Engage in open conversations: Tools such as The School of Life's Pillow Talk cards provide a gentle entry point for discussing sex with friends and partners.
- Discover erotic literature: From Emily Nagoski's Come Together to classics like Catherine Millet's The Sexual Life of Catherine M, there's a vast world beyond traditional school teachings.
- Seek ethical pornography alternatives: Feminist sites like Erika Lust Productions offer more balanced representations compared to mainstream porn.
- Get involved in advocacy: Organisations like the Pleasure Fellowship support individuals championing sexual wellbeing in their communities.
A Call for Transformative Action
While sex in novels can be exciting and deserves more representation, Straub concludes that the most impactful changes happen beyond fiction. By prioritising honest education and advocacy, society can address the gaps left by porn and foster a healthier, more informed approach to sexual pleasure and mental health.
