Women on Reddit have been expressing their love for hearing men moan during sex, describing it as a major turn-on. One user shared that it 'turns me on and gives me butterflies,' while another, @sufficient_video, wrote: 'As a woman, I NEED more men moaning during sex. I need to know you are feeling it!'
However, many men feel uncomfortable with the idea. In the subreddit r/TooAfraidToAsk, one man said he felt 'weird' making noises. Another commenter, @_Richter_Belmont_, explained: 'I think it’s viewed as feminine, or submissive in a sense. I think men are also concerned with being “good” and might view their own moaning as awkward or off-putting.' @ptolani added: 'A lot of what we men are doing in bed involves self-control. Getting it up, keeping it up, not cumming too soon, not taking too long to cum. It’s natural to control sound as well.'
Why Moaning Deepens Connection
Sexologist and relationship psychotherapist Becky Crepsley-Fox told Metro that moaning is one of the most underrated parts of sex. 'It’s a way of telling your partner what’s working and what isn’t, without either of you having to stop and break the moment to talk about it,' she said. 'For a lot of people, knowing their partner is enjoying themselves is a powerful aphrodisiac.'
Women on Reddit echoed this. @CityLightsTakeMeHome wrote: 'I like to hear how much he wants me when he moans.' Another woman noted: 'I like hearing the feedback from what we’re doing — his breathing getting heavier, the groans and even the sound the bed makes as sex progresses.'
Becky explained that many women worry about whether their partner is enjoying themselves, and moaning provides real-time reassurance. 'Beyond the practical, moaning can deepen a couple’s connection. There’s something profoundly vulnerable about letting someone see you in a moment of pleasure — losing a little control in front of them.' She added: 'In tantra, there’s a belief that pleasure you don’t express gets “stuck” in the body, so letting it out vocally is seen as a route to a fuller, more whole-body experience.'
Why Men Hold Back
Many men link their hesitation to the idea that emotional expression is feminine. 'Men, in my experience, are the ones who most often hold back,' Becky said. 'We’ve taught men to suppress their emotions in nearly every direction, and moaning is no exception. If a man’s grown up being told he shouldn’t cry, it’s a stretch to expect he’ll feel free to moan.'
She also pointed to mainstream porn as a factor. 'Mainstream heterosexual porn has largely been made with a male viewer in mind, which is why the woman’s pleasure and vocalisation tend to be turned right up while the man’s stays minimal — it lets the viewer imagine they’re the one giving her that pleasure. A man moaning loudly would get in the way of that fantasy. So we’ve all absorbed, from two directions at once, the idea that moaning is a female thing and men are meant to stay quiet.'
How to Break the Silence
Becky advised that the first step is talking about it. 'If you’re a man who hesitates — worried your noises might be off-putting – my advice is to say exactly that to your partner. I’d put money on the response being some version of “I’d love it if you did.” Partners want that feedback loop; hearing you enjoy yourself is a turn-on for them.'
