As the school year draws to a close, many parents face the annual dilemma of contributing to class collections for teachers. But one mother argues the tradition has spiralled out of control, with sums reaching hundreds of pounds.
London class collects £560 for teachers
Kirsty Ketley, a freelance writer and parent consultant, expressed her dismay after learning that a primary school class in London raised £560 for a teacher and teaching assistants. That works out at more than £18 per child in a class of 30. 'I nearly spat out my tea,' she wrote.
Her own son Leo's class spent around £200 on one teacher and one teaching assistant this year. She transferred £20 into the collection pot without much thought, later realising she felt social pressure to avoid appearing stingy. 'When I saw dozens of parents reply to the initial whip round message with a thumbs-up emoji, I couldn't help but wonder what everyone else was giving,' she said.
Pressure and upmanship
Ketley noted that while class reps often stress there is no pressure, the social pressure is overwhelming. She also discovered that some parents contribute to the class collection and still buy an additional present themselves. 'Finding out about that one upmanship is usually when I quietly lose the will to live,' she added.
The etiquette of who gets their name on the thank-you card has also become a minefield. Some classes sign from the whole class, while others only include names of children who contributed. 'The fact that we're even having to navigate the etiquette of who gets their name on a thank-you card tells me everything I need to know about how overcomplicated this has become,' Ketley said.
Teachers value heartfelt notes, not expensive gifts
Ketley's husband is a teacher, and he has told her that the overwhelming majority of teachers are not hoping for expensive hampers or luxury vouchers. 'They savour any appreciation, of course, but what they treasure are the handwritten cards, the funny drawings and the heartfelt messages from children they've spent the year teaching,' she wrote. 'The wine and chocolates disappear, but the card with the wobbly handwriting saying, 'thank you for helping me with my maths' almost always gets tucked away in a drawer for years.'
Call for an unofficial cap
Ketley believes the tradition has drifted from its original purpose. 'It shouldn't feel like another bill landing just before the summer holidays,' she said. She proposes an unofficial cap, similar to Secret Santa: £5 per family in a class of 30 children, which would yield a thoughtful £150 gift. 'That way nobody will feel embarrassed if money is tight or worry they're being judged – and nobody would feel they must match the most generous parent in the class.'
She concluded: 'Teachers absolutely deserve our thanks. They work incredibly hard and are often undervalued. I know Leo's teachers don't know whether every parent gave £5 or £20. What they'll remember is a class full of children they've helped grow over the past year – and the cards that prove it.'
