Happily married men are my favourite type of client. After a session, they head home without a second thought, only returning when they need another spanking. They don't bombard me with messages or demand I care about their work or grandchildren – they have a wife for that, someone far more qualified. They also respect my private life because they have one of their own.
The last thing you want is a client who leaves you carrying the weight of his loneliness, with nothing at home but an empty sofa and a microwave meal. These clients often become troublesome. The most difficult of all are lonely female clients. It's a cliché, but a true one: women struggle to separate sex and emotion.
Why married men are easier clients
After enjoying their fantasies, these women often convince themselves we're soulmates, rather than realising I'm simply good at my job. Then the messages start – 50 a day – with jealous demands for constant attention. They're usually more trouble than they're worth. Many dommes refuse to see women altogether because of it.
With married men, sometimes the wives know. They might encourage it, prefer not to ask questions, or even take an active interest. I'm happy when they know I exist, but I'd rather they didn't turn up in my space. It ruins the dynamic to have a third person watching – like working under observation, with commentary. What should be a focused one-to-one exchange becomes a group exercise, and not always a harmonious one.
The problem with leaving marks
When a wife knows, I can let her husband have it properly. But with secretive married visitors, I have to worry about marks. A decent cane stripe takes at least 10 days to fade – sometimes over a month – yet a married man can usually only hide his bottom from his wife for three days, tops. Often he visits on his way home from dropping her at the airport for a girly holiday in Malaga, with a week alone ahead, so his priority is a more merciless thrashing than usual.
I don't feel guilty about the wives. In my view, a husband or wife won't stray if their partner gives them what they need. And women married to submissive men are lucky – such men tend to be loyal and desperate to please the goddess at the centre of their existence. My advice: slip on some stockings and beat him when he needs it, enthusiastically, or don't complain when he comes to me.
One angry daughter
I've never had trouble with a wife, though once an adult daughter sent me a furious message calling me a 'filthy slut' and telling me to 'leave dad alone'. As he was on the wrong side of Milton Keynes and inclined to grope, I was happy to follow her advice.
Most of my clients are happily married in every area but one – the area they see me to satisfy. So I genuinely believe I prop up his marriage. You're welcome, Mrs Client.
Why being open about BDSM helps
I know that to those not into BDSM, seeking out pain and humiliation seems strange. But being hit by someone who is bored, baffled and asks 'Is that enough now?' is far worse than not being hit at all. There is a strong case for couples being more open about seeking my services. Every relationship has its own boundaries, understood only by the people inside it. When something is treated as unspeakable – like a sexual desire – people handle it badly. With at least some understanding, things are calmer, and it can even keep the rest of the relationship on track.
So if you don't get it, you have two options. Either pretend you do get it, and you'll have a devoted, adoring husband for life. Or encourage him to visit my playroom for his fix. I'll send him back giddy with hormones and joy – and we'll all be thankful for it.
