Why I Still Swear Around My Children
Charlie Bond, 37, from Kent, says she does not believe in censoring her language in front of her children. Despite common parenting advice to avoid swearing, she finds that sometimes milder words like 'fiddle sticks' just don't cut it. Her children are four and one, and she admits that her initial intentions to be a calm, gentle parent quickly faded as she realised how hard parenting is. She continued to swear, sometimes loudly and often under her breath, deciding that her kids would just have to learn not to follow in her footsteps.
Bond recalls that swearing never seemed taboo to her because she heard her own mother using expletives. She didn't constantly repeat them but understood they could convey strong emotions. For a long time, she didn't swear herself because she didn't need to, but as an adult, she found swearing quite fun and sometimes the only way to accurately describe an emotion.
A Difference of Opinion with Her Husband
Bond's husband does not share her view. He will swear once the children are in bed but not directly in front of them. Bond, on the other hand, does not censor herself around the kids. She thinks that if they are going to hear those words, it is better they hear them from her than from TV or playground peers.
Dealing with Kids Repeating Swear Words
Bond acknowledges that nursery phone calls about swearing are not ideal, so she tries to prevent her children from repeating swear words. Her one-year-old doesn't say much yet, but her four-year-old has already used a few swear words, such as muttering 'for f's sake' when struggling with his shoes. She found it amusing that he used it in context and blamed his daddy for the word. A friend of Bond's tells her son that swear words are 'naughty adult words' that shouldn't be repeated, and her child is now 12 without any issues.
Bond tries not to say too many swear words around her children, but if one slips out, she doesn't make a big deal. If she hears it repeated, she uses the same line: 'we don't say that word, it's a grown up word.' So far, nursery hasn't phoned, and she believes downplaying the language works. She thinks getting angry or forbidding the words would be worse.
Talking to Kids Like People, Not Babies
Bond says her four-year-old's language skills are good because she and her husband talk to him like a person, not a baby. They avoid baby talk and discuss things on his level. While not discussing mortgages or tax rates, they chat about other things. He starts school in September, and she hopes he is wised up on his ABC's and not his FUC's.
