This Morning presenter Cat Deeley was visibly moved, holding back tears during Thursday's broadcast, as a guest shared the devastating truth about her mother's death live on air. Lauren Bradford-Clarke, a professor of criminal psychology, recounted the moment her father confessed to murdering her mother, a crime that had been disguised as a suicide for nearly two decades.
A Childhood Shaped by Loss and Deception
Lauren Howell, now known as Lauren Bradford-Clarke, appeared on the ITV programme to discuss the death of her mother, Lesley Howell, in 1991. At the time, authorities ruled it a suicide, allegedly motivated by her father Colin's affair with Hazel Stewart. Lesley was found dead from carbon monoxide poisoning in a garage in County Londonderry, alongside Trevor Buchanan, Stewart's husband, in what was made to appear as a suicide pact.
For eighteen years, Lauren and her brothers grew up believing their mother had taken her own life. "My childhood was very much defined by loss, and bereavement and navigating what it's like not to have a mum," she told hosts Cat Deeley and Ben Shephard. "I was four years old. I've got some precious memories of my mum, and I'm so grateful to have those because my brothers were too young to have any memories."
The Day That Changed Everything
Lauren recalled the day after her brother Daniel's second birthday, playing on a blue slide in nice May weather, when she noticed her mother was absent. "I remember going, 'Where's mummy?' - I'd already noted that she wasn't there," she said. Church elders then informed her and her older brother Matthew that Lesley had died.
The children were told it was a suicide, leading to lifelong trauma. "I grew up being very fearful of car fumes, if anyone was walking near the back of a car I'd be almost panicked," Lauren admitted. She struggled with feelings of abandonment, questioning why her mother would leave.
A Shocking Confession After 18 Years
In 2009, Colin Howell, a dentist, walked into a police station and confessed to murdering his wife Lesley and Trevor Buchanan. He revealed that both victims had been drugged and their bodies arranged to simulate a suicide pact, stemming from his affair with Stewart, who was complicit in the plot.
Lauren described the confession as a profound shock. "There's so much I feel like I can't even articulate about it because of how shocking it was - the kind of shock that is like cold running through your body," she said. Yet, she also felt an "instant relief" knowing her mother would never have willingly left her children.
Complex Relationships and Aftermath
Following her mother's death, Lauren was raised by her father, who continued his relationship with Hazel Stewart. "I very much saw her throughout my life, and probably still, [as a mother figure] because I've just always wanted a mummy," Lauren confessed, adding that she grieved for Stewart when that relationship ended.
Colin Howell was jailed for at least 21 years in 2010, while Hazel Stewart received a minimum 18-year sentence in 2011. Howell later faced additional charges for indecent assaults on patients. The case has resurfaced with a new BBC documentary, "Confessions of a Killer," airing Howell's confession tapes, which Lauren has criticised the BBC for broadcasting without her prior review.
In the tapes, Howell describes Stewart as a victim and claims he confessed to "put right what was wrong." Lauren, however, focuses on honouring her mother's memory. "My mum's life was stolen, so life is precious and I want to do as much as I can to honour her," she concluded, leaving the studio and viewers deeply affected by her story of resilience and truth.
